


A Crime of Passion

by ellacj



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-04-12 02:12:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 30,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19122487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellacj/pseuds/ellacj
Summary: BPD Homicide gets one of their toughest cases yet, and their lead detective and medical examiner aren't on speaking terms. This won't be easy.(takes place directly after season 2 finale)





	1. Guilty

**Author's Note:**

> hello friends!!! it's been a FAT minute since i wrote rizzoli & isles, but i'm back in business. this is a post-as-i-write deal so updates will probably be very sporadic, but i have big plans with this plot. lemme know what you think b/c i'm sure i'm a bit rusty with these guys :)
> 
> ALSO at the beginning of each chapter i'm going to name the song that guided the mood for the chapter, and i highly recommend listening before you read to enhance the ~reading experience~ (playlist can be found [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/epicweasley/playlist/3VRS7Co8W8cqmoCXkurZO1?si=SMy8U_h1Q8-6M0GH0S4J_Q))
> 
> enjoy!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Guilty" by Lady Wray

On the seventh day after Maura stopped speaking to her, Jane finds herself looking directly at her with a body between them. It’s so easy to forget the animosity between them when, in that moment, it’s just so… normal.

“The edges of the wounds are very clean,” Maura says, pulling her measuring tape from her bag. “Slightly under 4 inches in length; depth… a little over 5½.”

“How long has he been here?” Jane asks.

And there it is. The pause. The reality check. Maura looks up to meet her eye and there’s that flicker of remorse before it’s replaced again with a blank stare. “Rigor indicates he’s been dead for at least 36 hours.”

Korsak approaches Jane and brushes his hand against her elbow. It’s a signal she’s come to know very well in their years together, a part of a secret language they developed. They can speak without speaking. Leaving him to gather the details from Maura, she moves away to examine the rest of the dead guy’s home.

He’s lying on the kitchen floor, but the entire house seems to be a part of the crime scene. The living room lamp is shattered on the floor, books and papers are strewn all over, and even the photos hanging on the wall of the staircase are either crooked or on the floor with cracks marring their image. Jane picks up one frame off the floor. It’s a photo of their victim with a woman on one arm and a little girl on the other.

“Got an ID,” Frost says, approaching behind her. “That the family?”

“Looks like it.” Jane turns to face him. “Who is he?”

Frost hands her the driver’s license. “This is his house. Weird the wife and kid didn’t notice him lying here dead the past two days.”

“James Duke, 28.” She hands it back. “Try and ID the wife, huh? Find out why she didn’t call us?”

“On it.”

Jane circles back around to the kitchen, where the crew is bagging the body to transport back to the station. Maura is packing up her things and Jane can _feel_ the anger bristling from her. “Dr. Isles, can you-”

“I won’t know anything further until I start my autopsy.” Maura turns to walk away, but stops to meet Jane’s eye. “Detective Rizzoli.” Without leaving time for Jane to reply, she walks away, heels clacking loudly on the hardwood floor.

Jane sighs heavily. It’ll take a miracle to end this war.

* * *

 

Korsak enters the office for the fifth time that day, even crankier than the last time he left. “Can you two just get over this damn thing already?”

“What did she want this time?” Jane sighs.

“Went over the measurements of the wounds again.” He sits down at his desk, looking up at the screen. “We find the wife?”

Frost pulls the image of the family up onto the screen. “Leah Duke. 25, law student at BCU. And the daughter is Charlotte. She’s three.”

“Okay, why didn’t we hear from them when James died two days ago?”

“They weren’t here.” Frost clicks a few buttons, and Leah’s Facebook profile appears. “She’s been posting pictures of her and Charlotte all week on the beach. Tagged location is San Diego.”

Jane nods. She leans against the desk with a heavy sigh. “We gotta call her.”

Frost stands up. “I got it. You should go home.”

“Huh?”

“It’s past six. Go home and rest, we’ll call Leah and get her back to Boston by tomorrow morning.”

Jane frowns. “What’s going on here?”

Frost sighs. “Jane. I know it’s been tough for you lately but… it’s exhausting playing middle man between you two.”

“Oh.” Jane nods. “Okay. Well, uh, sorry to have cramped your style.” She stands up and snatches her bag from her chair. “See you tomorrow.”

She storms out towards the elevator, only to barrel straight into someone, sending the stack of papers in their hands flying. “Oh, Jesus, _fuck_.” She crouches down to start picking up the files. “I’m so-” she stops herself when she looks up at the person in front of her. “ _not_ helping you with this.” She throws the papers back down on the ground.

“So glad we’re being mature about this,” Maura snaps, still on the floor scrambling for her papers. “I thought you might care to help me, considering these are for _your_ case.”

“Yeah? Give them to Frost and Korsak then, because they’ve kicked me out for the night.”

“I can’t imagine why, with your sunny disposition.”

“Actually, Dr. Know-It-All, it’s because you can’t seem to keep this professional. They’re sick of you snapping at me all damn day and, frankly, so am I!”

Maura scoffs and stands up. “I’m sorry, Detective, I thought you were speaking to me, but clearly you must be looking into a mirror.” She pushes past Jane into the detectives’ office, letting the door slam loudly behind her.

For a split second, Jane considers storming in after her, but one look at Korsak glaring back at her sends her off in the opposite direction. She spends the drive home blasting Guns N’ Roses at top volume and screaming as loudly as she can about how much she _hates_ Dr. Maura Isles.

But somehow, by the time she makes it upstairs, the anger has melted away, replaced only with a sort of soft melancholy. She drops her jacket and bag on the couch and makes her way to the kitchen, trying to ignore the half-empty bottle of wine in the fridge that she and Maura started last weekend and never had the chance to finish. Instead, she grabs the last of the leftover pizza and tosses it in the microwave.

Jane knows Maura’s just trying to make her feel guilty for shooting Paddy. A simple apology would make all this go away. But that’s just the thing; Jane won’t lie to her best friend. She doesn’t feel bad. She would never _ever_ apologize for protecting herself and her partner, and Maura should know that.

Paddy Doyle, a man responsible for over 15 murders, is in a hospital bed fighting for his life, and Jane and Frost are alive and breathing. She will never regret that as long as she lives.

Still, there’s a part of her that wishes she did. She wishes so badly she could just apologize to Maura, and mean it, and they could just go back to being best friends. Maybe they would never have stopped. It would have been so easy. But Maura will never believe that Paddy would really shoot them, and she will never forgive Jane for defending them.

The microwave beeps, and Jane opens the door to get her pizza. But she stops. She isn’t hungry anymore. She closes the microwave door, bends down to pick up Jo Friday, and walks down the hall to bed.


	2. Looking Too Closely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Looking Too Closely" by Fink

The house is quiet when Maura gets home. She hasn’t quite gotten used to Angela being gone. She hangs her purse on the hook by the door and sinks into the couch with a long, heavy sigh. Before she can stop it, her eyes start watering, throat closing up to stifle a sob. These days, it’s nearly impossible not to cry the second she’s alone.

She didn’t expect it would be this hard being without Jane. There’s an ache in her chest that hasn’t gone away since Jane’s bullet struck Paddy last week. Maura brings a hand to her heart. She’s read about this; the anterior cingulate cortex is responding to her stress by increasing the activity of her vagus nerve, causing physical pain.

“Heartache,” she whispers out loud.

She’s never had a best friend before, so she doesn’t know what it feels like to lose one. Still, this is worse than she ever could have imagined. She wants so badly to call Jane and tell her to forget everything. Just to be friends again.

And then she remembers.

She can still hear the echo of her hoarse scream as Jane aimed her gun at Paddy, can still feel the racing of her heart, her hands grasping at air as she reached in vain to save her… Paddy.

Abruptly, Maura stands up from the couch and glances around the dark living room. She can’t go through this again; she has to get out of here. She snatches her keys from the table and runs out to her car. She doesn’t know where she’s going as she pulls out of her driveway, but somehow she’s not surprised when she ends up at the Dirty Robber.

Even less surprising is the fact that Jane is sitting at a booth with a beer in front of her, appearing to not be her first. Maura wills her feet to turn and go, but they remain rooted in place until Jane looks up and meets her eye. For a split second her face contorts into something that looks like fear before it settles back into its resting state.

Maura walks across the bar and sits across from Jane. She doesn’t say anything.

Jane squirms in her chair. She’s playing tough, but up close Maura can see that her nose is red and her eyes are puffy. She’s been crying. “Uh… hi.”

“Eloquent, as always.” Maura winces slightly. That came out with much more bite than she intended.

Jane sighs. “Did you just come here to yell at me some more? ‘Cause I got better things to do. Like comb Jo Friday for lice.”

Maura glances away and tucks her hands beneath her thighs. “Jane, I-” she stops. She’s not quite sure what she intended the end of that sentence to be.

“Look, Maura, everyone is sick of us fighting. _I’m_ sick of us fighting.” Jane shakes her head. “Can’t we just… kiss and make up?”

“Excuse me?” And there it is, that pain again in her chest, that rage simmering low in her belly rising up again into her throat. That familiar old heartache. “Jane, you _shot my father_. I can’t just get over that in a week!”

“No, I can’t have this conversation again.” Jane stands up and stares straight down at Maura. “Paddy is _not_ your father, Maura. He is a crime boss wanted for _fifteen_ murders, and he was going to shoot Frost and me if I didn’t do something.” She storms off toward the door, but stops halfway and calls to the bartender, “Carl, she’s taking my bill.”

Maura drops her head into her hands. Her chest is tighter than before and her heart is pounding in her throat.

Someone clears their throat beside her. “Can I get you anything?” Carl asks hesitantly.

“Oh, um, red wine. Any kind.” Maura reaches up to brush her hair out of her face. “Thank you, Carl.” As Carl walks away, she glances around the bar. It’s mostly empty; unsurprising for a Tuesday evening. For a second, she feels bad that Jane was here alone, drinking and crying, all because of Maura.

It only lasts for a second, though. Because, once again, the thought is overtaken with the events of that day playing over and over again in her mind. Maybe if Jane could see, could feel, the same thing, she would understand Maura’s heartache. If she just tried to understand.

Maybe then they’d be okay.

But Jane won’t do that. She doesn’t like to dwell on the things she does, doesn’t like to think about the hurt she’s caused. “The devil’s in the details”, she always says, and only now does Maura realize what she really meant by that. Only by brushing aside the things she does has Jane managed to get this far in life.

Carl returns with her glass of wine, but Maura shakes her head. “I’ve changed my mind.” She pulls a $50 bill from her wallet and hands it to him with a shaky smile. “Keep the change. I have to go.” She goes back out to her car, only to stop at the sight of Jane’s car still in the parking lot.

Jane’s inside, and she’s crying. Not the subtle kind that she pretends is just allergies, but full-bodied crying, sobbing, snot and all. She looks up and sees Maura standing and watching her.

Maura opens her mouth, unsure of what she’s about to say, but before anything can come out Jane’s car is already reversing away. She stops herself from running after it. Instead, she walks to her own car, puts on her current audiobook about stress reduction, and drives home alone.


	3. Overlap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Overlap" by Ani DiFranco

Jane arches her back toward the hands sliding their way up her body, letting a soft moan escape her lips. Her lips meet soft lips. She kisses back hard and tangles her fingers in blonde hair, fluttering her eyes open as the other woman pulls away. “Maura,” she whispers. “Please.”

Maura smiles. “Since you asked nicely.” Her voice is thick with lust. Her left hand moves to Jane’s breast, and the right moves lower, lower, lower, fingers dancing along olive skin until it meets just the right spot. Jane’s hips jerk forward of their own accord. Her mouth opens to release a moan, but it’s cut off by a strange beeping sound coming from the other room.

And that’s when she wakes up.

She sits up in bed and snoozes her alarm, heart still racing. She’s covered in sweat and out of breath. For a minute, she doesn’t remember the dream, but then it all comes crashing back down in her mind. It was her. In bed. With… Maura.

With _Maura._

“What the fuck,” she mutters, combing her fingers through her hair. The alarm goes off again, and Jane sighs heavily as she shuts it off. She doesn’t have time to think about this; she has a murder to solve. Her weird sex dreams are not the priority right now.

Korsak and Frost are already in the office when she gets there. “Rough night?” Frost says in lieu of a greeting.

Jane sits down. “Let’s go over what we know again.” She switches on her computer and pulls up her files from the previous day. “Victim is stabbed eight times in his own kitchen while the wife and kid are on vacation without him, no one notices him for two days until a neighbor calls it in because…” she trails off and consults her notes. “Her dog was barking at the house.”

“That about sums it up,” Korsak says. “Wife said she’ll come down to talk to us later today. They’re on a flight back this morning.”

“I’m still working on getting into his phone,” Frost adds. “He’s got some pretty major security on it.”

Jane nods. “Anything new from the autopsy?”

Korsak and Frost exchange a glance they surely think is subtle. “Haven’t had a chance to get down there yet today,” Frost says. He stands up and makes his way over to her desk. “Maybe you could stop by when you go down to get coffee.”

Jane narrows her eyes. “I already got coffee.”

“Yeah?” Before Jane can intercept him, Frost snatches the coffee cup from her desk and tosses it into the trash a few feet away. “Damn. Hate when that happens.”

“I fucking hate you two.” She leaves the office with her middle finger held up behind her back. Down in the crime lab, Maura is hunched over the body, talking to herself under her breath. Jane stops in the doorway for a moment. Images from that damn dream are circulating again through her head, and suddenly, stepping into that room seems like running a marathon.

Maura looks up, and her eyes lock in on Jane. She hesitates a moment. “Good morning, Jane.”

 _Jane_. She called her _Jane._ It’s the first time since the shooting that Maura has used her first name, and _why is her heart racing right now_. “Uh, morning.”

“Did you get home all right?”

“Huh?”

Maura sets down her tools and stands up, pushing her goggles up on top of her head. “Last night. You got home safe?”

“Oh. Right.” Jane had almost forgotten about their conversation last night. “Yeah, I did. You?”

Maura nods. “What can I do for you?”

“Just wanted to see if you found anything new.” Jane wrings her hands, hoping her face doesn’t betray the anxiety she’s feeling. Of course, with the human lie detector in the room, she knows that’s a long shot.

“I did.” Maura removes her gloves and picks up her file folder. “Everything you’ll want is in here.”

Jane takes the folder. She hesitates for a moment, then her brain gets the better of her and she blurts out a question. “I was just about to go up to the café and get some coffee. Would you, uh, like to join me?” At the surprise written across Maura’s face, she hastily adds, “To go over the file. You know I’m, uh, kinda hopeless with the science stuff.” She offers a shaky smile.

Maura doesn’t say anything for what feels like hours. Then, finally, she nods. “Sure. Let me just wash my hands.”

* * *

 Upstairs, the two of them sit together with their coffee, Maura going over the details of her autopsy and Jane trying desperately (and failing) not to think about her dream. She finds herself focusing in on certain parts of Maura’s body, her fingers delicately turning pages, her tongue sliding across her lips between sentences.

It’s fucking ridiculous, really. She’s not even gay. Never, not once in her life, has she ever been attracted to a woman. No, it’s just leftover weirdness from the dream. She snaps herself back to reality, and tries (and again fails) to tune into whatever science-y mumbo jumbo Maura is talking about now.

Sitting across from Maura, sipping coffee, talking about the case, it all feels so normal. It’s so easy to forget that they’re supposed to hate each other right now. Maura’s been talking about her findings for a few minutes now, but when she takes a pause to sip her coffee, Jane takes her chance.

“Maura, how is he?” she says softly.

Maura sets down her mug and looks down at the table. “He’s stable. Still in a coma.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” Maura snaps. “Because all I’ve heard from you is excuse after excuse. You won’t even accept that what you did was wrong.”

Jane sighs. “I’ve told you, Maura, I had to protect us. I wish it hadn’t happened, of course I do, and I’m so sorry for what it’s put you through.” She pauses. “But I’m not sorry for doing my job.”

“He wouldn’t have shot, Jane. He was just there to protect me, _that’s it_.”

“Maura-”

“No. You don’t know him.”

Jane opens her mouth, but before she can speak she’s cut off by Maura’s phone ringing on the table.

“Dr. Isles,” Maura answers it. “Yes… oh my goodness, yes, I will be there as soon as I can. Thank you so much.” She hangs up, and looks up to meet Jane’s questioning eye. “That was the hospital,” she whispers. “Paddy just woke up.”


	4. Mexico

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Mexico" by The Staves

Maura takes a deep breath. She’s been standing outside Paddy’s room for several minutes now, trying to work up the nerve to go in. Whatever happens in that room, whatever Paddy says, will either fix things between her and Jane or… she doesn’t want to think about the alternative.

Fuck it. Whatever happens, nothing will be solved by standing outside. She clears her throat, throws her shoulders back, and pushes open the door.

Paddy looks exactly the same as he did the last time she visited, but this time his eyes are wide open. He turns to look at her with a soft smile. “Maura. Come sit.”

Maura walks slowly to the chair beside the bed. She’s at a loss for words, something that is incredibly rare for her. Usually when she’s nervous she babbles endlessly about the latest research she’s been doing.

“You look great.” Paddy breaks the silence first, and thank God he did. Otherwise they might have been sitting for hours.

“Thank you.”

Paddy sighs. “Well, I know you probably didn’t just come to say hi to your dad.”

Maura’s head snaps up and she looks Paddy straight in the eye. “You aren’t my father.” She knows there’s hypocrisy in that statement, but she chooses to ignore it. She shakes her head. “I just need to know one thing. Would you have shot Jane and Frost? If Jane hadn’t shot you first?”

He doesn’t even hesitate. “Hell yeah. I don’t fuck with cops.”

It’s like a switch has been flipped, and the heartache comes back even stronger than before. Maura stands up, hoping beyond hope that the tears in her eyes aren’t visible. “Good luck with the rest of your life, Paddy.” She doesn’t give him a chance to respond, instead walking swiftly out the door. Only when she gets to the elevator does she allow herself to cry.

Jane was right. Of course Jane was right, she’s been doing this for years. How could Maura have not only questioned her judgment, but fully _hated_ her for what she did to protect her team? “Oh my God,” she whispers to herself. What if Jane never forgives her for how she’s acted? What if she’s lost her best friend for good?

The elevator stops and Maura does her best to collect herself before the doors open. The lobby is empty except for one person, and she almost doesn’t stop until she recognizes her. “Angela?”

Angela stands up and, without a word, pulls Maura into a tight hug. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” she murmurs. She strokes Maura’s hair with one hand.

Maura doesn’t even try to hold back the loud sob that erupts from her throat. She squeezes Angela tight and lets out every tear she’s been clinging to, right into Angela’s shoulder. “I hate him,” she manages to whisper.

“Oh, honey.” Angela pulls out of the hug and reaches up to wipe the tears from Maura’s eyes. “What happened? What did he say?”

“He said-” Maura’s interrupted by another sob, and she drops her head into her hands and falls into the chair beside her. “He said he was going to shoot Jane and Frost. She was right. If she hadn’t shot first they would be-” another sob. She accepts the tissue Angela hands her, and blows her nose as hard as she can.

Angela sits down and puts her arm around Maura. She doesn’t say anything, just squeezes tight and rubs small circles on Maura’s arm. It works. Within a minute or so, the tears have stopped flowing, and Maura is finally collected enough to speak. “Thank you,” she says, wiping her eyes. “Studies have shown that physical touch releases oxytocin and calms negative emotions.”

Angela smiles. “Well then get ready for an extra dose.”

“Wait, how did you know I’d be here?” Maura takes Angela’s hand and squeezes it in her lap. “Paddy just woke up an hour ago.”

“Jane told me.” Angela smiles. “She had an interview to do, but she thought you might need some support.”

Maura nods and looks down at her knees. A fresh wave of tears comes on, and she brings her hand up to cover her mouth. “Oh God, Jane is never going to talk to me again, is she?”

“Maura.” Angela pulls Maura’s face up to meet her eyes. “Jane loves you. She misses you _so much_.” She smiles. “She won’t admit it, but she’s lost without you.”

Maura nods and forces herself to smile. “So am I.”

* * *

 Back at the lab, Maura finds herself comforted by the one thing that can make her forget about everything. Her work. She’s focused on the stab wounds, trying to identify what type of weapon could have been used. Just as she’s really getting in the zone, there’s a knock at her door. Her breath catches in her throat as she looks to see who it is.

“Hey,” Jane says softly. “Can I come in?”

Maura nods. She doesn’t say anything. If she does, she knows she’ll just start crying.

Jane pulls up a chair and sits backwards, leaning over the back of it. “You okay?”

Maura nods again.

“Silent treatment?” Jane sighs. “Maura, I-”

“It’s not the silent treatment.” Maura shakes her head. She can feel the tears coming already. “I just didn’t want to start crying again.”

“Maura.” Jane walks around to the other side of the table and pulls Maura into a hug. “What happened at the hospital?”

Maura wipes at her eyes. “You were right. He was going to shoot.”

Jane squeezes her even tighter. “I’m so sorry, Maura.”

“Why? You did the right thing. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“He’s not who you wanted him to be.”

Maura nods. “Not even close.” She pulls out of the hug and looks straight at Jane. “I’m sorry, Jane. For everything.”

“It’s okay.” Jane smiles. “We’re okay.”

“I missed you so much.”

Jane squeezes her hand. “Hey, uh, since we’re okay again, can I ask you something?”

Maura frowns. “Of course, is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Suddenly, Jane seems even more on edge than before. She’s wringing her hands and avoiding eye contact, all classic signs of anxiety. “Uh, what does it mean when you have a… sex dream about someone?”

Maura can’t stop herself from bursting into a fit of laughter. “A _sex dream_? About whom?”

Jane is visibly red in the face. “No one you’d know,” she mutters. “Just tell me what it means. Please?”

“Well, the science behind dreams is still largely untapped, it’s mostly guesswork-”

“Maura,” Jane whines.

Maura grins. “Sex dreams often indicate a desire to be closer to the person in the dream. It doesn’t necessarily suggest sexual desire.”

Jane attempts a smile, but it looks more like a grimace. “Cool. Thanks.”

“I’m not leaving this alone. I _will_ get it out of you.”

“In your dreams.” Jane grins, and this time, it’s genuine. “I missed you, too.”


	5. Do I Wanna Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Do I Wanna Know?" by Arctic Monkeys

As Jane takes her seat up in the office, she tries to erase the stupid wide grin on her face, but to no avail.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Frost says, eyebrows raised. “You two finally kiss and make up?”

Jane sincerely hopes her burning cheeks aren’t visibly red. She still hasn’t been able to get that dream out of her head, even after Maura said it didn’t mean anything. It’s still chewing at her, dancing around at the back of her mind. “Frost, did you get into his phone yet?”

He nods and pulls some messages up on screen. “He’s been IM’ing with someone for about ten months. Looks like an affair.”

“We got a name?”

“No, it’s anonymous. Very secure. But it looks like James met up with her the night he was killed, someplace called The Firefly.” He scrolls up through the messages. “They met there a lot, actually. Almost every day.”

Jane plugs the name into Google. She raises her eyebrows. “It’s a gay bar.”

Frost glances back up at the screen. “So maybe our mistress isn’t a mistress after all.”

“This place is about an hour away, I can head over there now and talk to the staff. Maybe they saw something that night.” Jane stands up to grab her things.

“You should bring Dr. Isles,” Frost says. “There might be some evidence there for her to process.” He pauses, smirking as though he’s got an inside joke with himself. “And she’d be a good cover.”

Jane’s stomach flips. Something about the idea of being with Maura at a gay bar just isn’t sitting right. Her mind keeps replaying that part of the dream over and over again, the feeling of Maura’s name slipping from her lips, thick with lust, her fingers reaching up to lace in Maura’s hair, her hips jerking up as Maura’s fingers did… _that_. But Frost is right, having Maura there would help her blend into the crowd a little more. She sighs and runs her hand through her hair. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll go get her.”

When Jane gets downstairs, Maura looks at her with a wider smile than she’s seen in a long time. It sends her heart into overdrive. Forcing herself to appear calm, she pokes her head into the lab and smiles. “Wanna go on a date?”

* * *

 The bar is surprisingly bright, and clearly very well-kept. It’s also mostly empty, which is perfect. It’ll give her some quality time with the staff. She approaches the bar with her badge out and Maura tailing quietly behind her. “Boston police.”

The woman wiping down the bar drops her overly-friendly smile. “What’s going on?”

“I’d like to speak with whoever’s in charge.”

“That’s me. Callie Swenson.” She puts out the hand not still holding her towel, but Jane ignores it.

“Do you recognize this man?” Jane shows her a photo of James.

“Yeah, he’s here almost every night.”

“Is he usually with someone?”

Callie nods. “Yeah. I think it’s the same guy usually, probably his boyfriend. But I don’t know their names. They keep to themselves, always pay in cash.”

Jane sets the photo down on the bar where Callie can see it. “The boyfriend ever come in without him?”

“I wouldn’t know. I never spoke to him; I probably wouldn’t even recognize him without this guy.” She points to the photo. Then she pauses and frowns. “What’s going on, is one of them into something bad? Because it has nothing to do with the bar, trust me.”

“This man, James, was stabbed to death three days ago.”

Callie’s eyes go wide, and she visibly tightens her grip on her towel. “Do you think his boyfriend did it?”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out. Problem is, we have no idea who he is. James covered his tracks really well.”

“Well, you and your girlfriend are welcome to hang around tonight and see if he shows up.” Callie’s gaze darts to Maura for a split second, then back to Jane.

Jane tenses. “Colleague,” she says tersely. “And thank you, we will.” She rests a hand on Maura’s arm and guides her to a table in the perfect vantage spot.

Maura sits across from her with a grin. “Are we going undercover?”

“Yeah.” Jane looks over Maura’s shoulder at the rest of the bar. “Sit next to me.” She pats the open space beside her in the booth. “We need both our eyes looking out there in case this guy shows tonight.”

Maura slides into the spot next to Jane. She’s close, close enough that Jane can smell her perfume (it’s sweet; vanilla maybe), and their hands are just inches apart on the vinyl of the booth. “How will we know if it’s him?” Maura’s voice snaps Jane out of it.

“We won’t. But we’ll know if we see someone suspicious, and maybe we can tease it out of him.”

Maura frowns. “Won’t we look suspicious then?” At Jane’s raised eyebrow, she elaborates. “We’re in a gay bar, Jane. He’s probably not going to be expecting women to approach him.”

Jane shrugs. “So, say we’re bisexual.” She pushes down the butterflies in her stomach. Now is not the time to even think of having that conversation with herself.

“ _We_? You’re going to let me question a suspect?” Maura is visibly excited by the thought.

“You’re not questioning anybody.” Jane smirks. Even she has to admit it’s sweet when Maura gets excited about police work. One might even say it’s cute. “We’re just trying to figure out who this guy is. And yes, your steel trap of a brain will come in handy there.”

Maura grins. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

It feels good to bicker like this again, and Jane can’t help but smile. Time seems to fly by as the bar starts to fill up, and by the time peak hour has hit, their conversation hasn’t hit a lull. Jane sighs. “We should probably start talking to people. We are here to work, you know.”

They separate, moving around the bar to engage people in conversation. Jane makes her way through man after man, each one seeming more irritated than the last. As yet another man stomps away, she sighs and scans the crowd. Maybe Maura’s having better luck. Finally, her eyes lock in on those familiar honey-blonde curls, and what she sees makes her stomach churn.

Maura’s leaning across the table, smiling softly and looking up through her eyelashes. Her hand is resting on some woman’s arm, and, even from this distance, Jane can see her fingers dancing softly across the woman’s skin. She’s _flirting_. Before she can stop them, Jane’s feet start carrying her over to the table, and she hopes to God her scowl isn’t as prominent on her face as it feels.

Maura looks up as Jane approaches and smiles. “Jane, how’s it going?”

“I need to talk to you.”

The woman seated across from Maura glances between the two of them, then scowls at Maura. “Is this your girlfriend?”

“Yes,” Jane says curtly before Maura can respond. “Come on, _babe._ ” She grabs Maura’s hand and drags her into a corner of the bar.

Maura frowns. “What’s going on? Did you find him?”

“No, and clearly you haven’t either. We’re looking for men, Maura. What are you doing rubbing up against that girl?” Jane crosses her arms. She looks Maura up and down. “And how come you’re not breaking out in hives?”

“Why would I be?”

Jane scoffs. “You can’t even tell a little white lie, Maura. You expect me to believe you can actually pretend to gay without having a full-on seizure?”

Maura tilts her head, eyes squinted in what looks like confusion. “You assume that, just because my only serious relationships have been with men, I’m not attracted to women?”

Jane’s stomach clenches. Is Maura actually _coming out_ to her right now? Of all the days they could have had this conversation, now is not the one she would have picked. “Well, are you?” She hopes Maura doesn’t notice the way her voice trips over itself.

“Yes.”

Of course it’s so matter-of-fact, so casual, so _Maura_ , that Jane doesn’t quite understand it for a moment. And then it hits. Like a punch to the stomach, it hits hard. The dream pops back up in Jane’s mind, suddenly with new weight. “Oh my God,” she whispers, not realizing at first that she’s said it out loud.

“Jane?”

“Excuse me.” Jane pushes past Maura and walks into the crowd, eyes scanning the faces until she narrows in on one in particular. She walks quickly, with purpose, to the bar, leaning against it and offering the woman a cocky grin. “Hey. I’m Jane.”

The woman smiles back at her. “Sara.”

“Buy you a drink?” Jane glances back at Maura, who, sure enough, is watching her like a hawk. She smirks. Two can play at this game.


	6. Starlings/Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two song moods this time! Divided by the line :)
> 
> Section 1: "Starlings" by Elbow
> 
> Section 2: "Sleepover" by Hayley Kiyoko

Maura can count on one hand the number of times in her life she’s been absolutely dumbfounded. Watching Jane shamelessly flirting on the woman at the bar is certainly one of them. She’s not quite sure what she’s thinking; her thoughts are moving too fast for her to pin one down. Before she can go too far down the rabbit hole, her phone rings. It’s Detective Frost.

“Detective Frost, what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry to bother you, but Jane won’t answer her phone.” Frost sounds frustrated. Maura can’t say she blames him. “We found the guy. You guys can go home; we’ll bring him in tomorrow for questioning.”

Maura sighs. “Thank you. I’ll get Jane.” She hangs up the phone, glancing over at Jane, who’s still at the bar with her hand now on the other woman’s thigh. Something stirs in Maura’s stomach; a sort of mix of anger and longing. Her palms grow warm and she can feel her heart beating faster. The scientific part of her brain, the part that is logical and unbiased, immediately identifies her symptoms as jealousy.

But the other part, the part that is ruled solely by her emotions, scrambles for some other explanation. She bites absently at her lower lip as the realization sets in. It’s not an epiphany, not some lighting strike of knowledge, it’s not even surprising, really. If anything, she feels a little stupid for not having noticed it until now. But here, watching Jane’s fingers on someone else’s body, she is finally able to put a name to the feeling she’s carried for a long time.

She’s in love with Jane.

She’s _been_ in love with Jane. It’s impossible to deny any longer. And she knows if she keeps standing here, watching Jane throw herself at someone else, she’ll lose it. So she gathers up all her courage and walks right up to the two of them. “Jane, Frost called.” She steps directly in front of the other woman so Jane is forced to look at her. “It’s time to go.”

Something flashes in Jane’s eyes, but it’s gone before Maura can tell what it is. “Okay.” She stands up and walks away with Maura, not even bothering to say goodbye to the woman still sitting at the bar.

The drive is quiet for the first few minutes. Jane is staring out the passenger side window, silent and brooding, and Maura’s hands are gripping the wheel too tight and if she doesn’t say something soon she might actually explode. “Jane-”

“I don’t know,” Jane interrupts her. She sighs and turns her head to face Maura. Her eyes are red. “You’re gonna ask me what I was doing with that girl, right? I don’t know.” She pauses for a moment. “I guess I was just… surprised by what you said. It was dumb.”

Maura nods. “Does it bother you that I’m bisexual?”

“No,” Jane says quickly. “No, I promise it doesn’t. Just… why didn’t you tell me?”

“You never asked.”

Jane nods slowly. “I’m sorry I freaked.”

Maura smiles. “It’s okay.” She reaches over to squeeze Jane’s hand. Her stomach feels like it’s doing cartwheels – which, of course, is completely illogical – but she maintains a straight face. “Spend the night at my house,” she says.

“Oh, um…” Jane pulls her hand away and fidgets with her fingers in her lap. “I don’t know.”

“Please? I missed you.” Maura glances over and offers her most winning smile.

Jane sighs. “Yeah, okay, let’s do it.” She smiles back. “I’m really glad we’re back to normal, Maura. Let’s not do anything to fuck it up again, yeah?”

“Yes. Agreed.”

* * *

 By the time they arrive at Maura’s house, the exhaustion has set in. Jane wastes no time in walking down the hall to the guest room, and collapsing on the bed with a heavy sigh. After a split second’s hesitation, Maura slides into the bed beside her. “Bedtime already?”

Jane turns her head to look at her. Her curls are splayed out on the pillow above her head, almost like a lion’s mane. She smirks. “Don’t tell me you’re not exhausted, too.”

“I am.” Maura rolls onto her side to face Jane. “You promise you’re not upset?”

“I promise.” Jane seems to hesitate before she speaks again. “So… have you actually… you know… _been_ with another woman?”

Maura laughs softly. “Yes. A few.”

“What’s it like?”

“It’s… softer. Lasts a _lot_ longer.” She smiles. “You know, recent studies have shown that very few women are 100% heterosexual. Attraction is much more fluid than we thought; probably best represented by a sliding scale such as the one developed by Alfred Kinsey in 1948.”

“Huh.” There are wheels turning in Jane’s head, some sort of intense thought process to which Maura is not privy. After a long silence, Jane looks up at Maura with wide eyes. “Have you ever been in love with a woman?”

Maura doesn’t say anything for a few moments. She’s not quite sure what to say. Finally, she looks straight into Jane’s eyes and murmurs, “I think so.” It might be the most terrifying thing she’s ever done, and she can feel her palms sweating from their position tucked under her chin. She searches Jane’s face for a hint of what she’s feeling, but all she can see is her own nervousness reflected in Jane’s features.

Jane clears her throat. “So, bedtime?”

“Yes, bedtime.” Maura lifts the covers and slides underneath.

“Uh, Maura?”

“Yes?”

Jane frowns. “Are we having a sleepover?”

Maura sighs. “I’m too exhausted to move. But if you’re afraid I’ll grope you in your sleep you can go sleep in my bed.” She smiles softly.

“Fine.” Jane slips under the covers as well, a defiant grin on her face. “You know, this was the one boundary we hadn’t crossed in our friendship.”

“First time for everything,” Maura murmurs, eyes already getting heavy. She wasn’t lying when she said she was too tired to move. Sleep will do her well right now. “Good night.”

Jane is silent for a long moment. Then, almost too quiet to hear, she whispers, “Good night, Maura.”


	7. Daydreamer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Daydreamer" by Adele

When Jane rolls over and opens her eyes, she’s met with hazel eyes staring back at her. She smiles softly. “Hey,” she breathes. “How long have you been up?”

“Not long.” Maura smiles back. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

Jane sighs. “I always forget how comfy this bed is.” She heaves herself up into a half-sitting position, leaning back on her elbows. “Let’s play hooky and just sleep all day.”

Maura chuckles. “That would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Something about the way her eyes sparkle sends Jane’s heart racing.

She can’t tear her eyes away from Maura’s face. From her still-half-curled hair spilling into her face, to the soft freckles that are only visible up close, to the corners of her lips just slightly upturned in a smile that hasn’t gone away since last night. It’s like there’s this magnetic pull drawing her closer with every breath until she’s so close to Maura’s face, and her chest is pounding, and Maura’s leaning forward, and-

“Jane?” Maura whispers. She looks up to meet Jane’s eye. “We need to go to work.”

Jane clears her throat. “Yeah. Yeah, no I was just-” she reaches forward and gently brushes Maura’s cheek. “You had an eyelash.”

Maura doesn’t move for a moment. For just that moment, the two of them stay there, staring, not moving. It feels like time has stopped moving, and they’re just here, alone in this perfect moment, and the world has frozen around them.

And then the next moment comes. And Maura’s getting up and pulling her hair into a pony and the day has begun like nothing ever happened. Probably because… nothing did happen. Jane’s head is spinning. Ever since last night, since Maura told her what she did, she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what it might be like. She knows it’s just curiosity, the same curiosity felt by every college freshman, but it’s eating away at her like nothing else.

She stands up. “Um, I’m gonna ride to work with Ma. I wanna have time to prepare before the boyfriend comes in for questioning.”

“Oh, all right.” Maura smiles. “I’ll see you there.”

“Yeah.” Fingers combing through her hair, Jane walks out before she has a chance to do anything else stupid. She manages to catch her mother just as she’s walking out the door of the guest house. “Ma!” she calls. “Hey, can I grab a ride?”

Angela cocks her head. “Jane, I didn’t know you spent the night.”

“Yeah, uh, our undercover thing went late. My car’s still at the station.”

“Why not ride with Maura?”

Jane rolls her eyes. “I don’t have time for her hour-long ‘beauty routine’ – I’ve got a suspect coming in first thing.”

Angela gestures to the passenger door. “Hop in.”

For a few minutes, the car is quiet. Jane wrings her hands and stares out the window, mind racing a mile a minute. “Hey, Ma,” she says out of nowhere, her mouth running away from her mind. “Do you think my standards are too high?”

Angela laughs. “Janie, you know there’s no one out there I will ever think is good enough for you.”

“I just – I feel like I have this image in my head of the perfect guy, you know? But I’m starting to think he just… doesn’t exist.”

“Honey… you know badly I can’t wait for you to find your soulmate. But I never want you to settle. You’re too good for some Average Joe.”

Jane sighs. “What if I never find him?”

Angela looks over at her with a soft smile. “Maybe you’re just looking in the wrong places.”

“Yeah.” Jane doesn’t say anything else for the rest of the ride, and, once they get to the station, she goes straight upstairs to the office.

Frost is already at his desk. “Morning,” he says. He looks her up and down with a smirk. “Same clothes as yesterday, huh?”

Jane scoffs. “Only you and Maura would notice that, you know.” She leans against her desk. “It was late when we got back to town so I crashed with her.”

“Gotcha.” Frost presses a few keys on his computer. “So, I’ve got our guy waiting in the questioning room. His name’s Adam Serrano. He seems… a little testy.”

Jane smiles. “My favorite. Let’s go.”

Sure enough, Adam is sitting in the questioning room with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. He scoffs when Jane and Frost sit down across from him. “They sent in the diversity hires? You must really not have _anything_ on me.”

Jane smiles, hoping the daggers in her eyes are enough to convey what she’s thinking. “Adam, what’s your connection to James Duke?” She places her photo of James on the table facing him.

Adam frowns. “Who?” He looks at the picture. “Never seen that guy in my life.”

“Where were you between 7 and 10:00pm three nights ago?”

“Practice. I coach hockey at BCU.”

Jane frowns. “Pretty late practice.”

“Most of my boys don’t get done with class ‘til 5.” Adam shrugs. “We practice 6-10 three nights a week.”

Frost pulls out the printouts of the IM messages from James’ phone. “We have several months’ worth of IM’s between you and James.”

Adam shakes his head. “Not me. I don’t do that online stuff. I’m an old-fashioned kind of guy.”

Jane chuckles to herself. “Couldn’t have guessed.”

“Wait.” Adam looks up from reading the messages. “You think this is _me_?” He laughs out loud. “No way, I ain’t no fag.”

“Do you know why anyone would use your name and photo to sign up for this?”

“Imitation is flattery, right?”

“Is there anyone in particular that might want to… flatter you?”

Adam shrugs. “Lotta guys are jealous of me. I don’t blame ‘em.”

Jane nods. She glances to Frost, who seems to share her thoughts. “Then I guess you’re free to go.”

“Knew it.” Adam stands up. Before he leaves, he stops at the door and turns back. “Next time you wanna question me, I want a real cop. One that didn’t need some bullshit affirmative action to get on the force.” With that, he slams the door behind him, leaving Jane and Frost alone.

“Well, he was a charmer,” Jane laughs.

“No kidding.” Frost starts putting away the files. “But now we’re back to square one. No idea who this boyfriend is, no idea how to find him.”

Jane taps her fingers on the table, trying to think. “Let’s call that neighbor again, the one who found the body. Maybe she noticed something while the affair was going on.”

“Good idea. I’ll try her now.” Frost gets up to go, but Jane doesn’t follow.

She just sits. Alone in a room without windows, she sits. She doesn’t intend to think; it’s more like the thoughts come to her. And again, it’s thoughts of Maura. Honestly, it’s getting a little annoying, the constant bombarding of images from that fucking dream. It’s taken over her; now it’s making her do crazy things like… actually act on those weird urges. As though that’s actually a possibility.

Of course it’s not; it happened in another universe, a dream world where real things are false and false things feel so incredibly real. But this isn’t that world. This is her world, and, in her world, things like that just aren’t possible. And she doesn’t want them to be. Everything will be back to normal in a few days, once her brain has time to forget the dream and the crazy bomb Maura dropped on her at the club, and she’ll be fine. She just has to ride the wave.

Her phone buzzes, displaying a text from Maura herself inviting Jane down to the morgue to discuss case details. And look, already things are more normal than they were yesterday. They’re back to work. Jane takes a deep breath as she gets up to leave, forcing herself to stop the worrying and just take things one day at a time. These thoughts will go away before they have a chance to cause any more trouble.

Still, as she walks to the elevator, there’s an extra little swing in her hips. And she doesn’t try to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you guys think of the mood songs??? do you like them? do you even listen to them? sound off i wanna know


	8. Every Little Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" cover by Sleeping At Last

Maura’s spent all morning preparing herself for seeing Jane after their almost-sort-of-not-quite-a moment earlier, but she’s almost knocked off her feet when the door opens. Jane walks in, face neutral as always, but there’s a sparkle in her eyes Maura’s not used to seeing. She lets her gaze linger just a little longer than it should, and Jane’s brow furrows.

“Do I have something on my face?”

Maura smiles. “No.” She shakes her head. “I was just thinking you look really nice today.”

Jane scoffs. “I look like I haven’t been home in two days and need a shower.” She moves closer to look at the body. “What’d you find?”

“I was able to determine the murder weapon. Based on the depth of the wounds and the track, it appears to be a knife about five inches long, with a flat edge and a curved blade.” Maura removes her gloves and goggles. She adjusts her hair, mussed by the strap of her goggles, hoping it falls the way she wants it to.

“Yeah, one of the knives was missing from the block.” Jane nods. She starts to turn to leave, but hesitates, lingering for a moment. “I look nice today?”

Maura hopes her blush isn’t visible. “You just seem a little… peppier than usual.”

“Peppy.”

“Yes.” Maura shrugs. “You seem excited about life.”

Jane’s eyes flick downward, and her jaw tightens like she’s suppressing a smile. “I guess I’m just happy we’re friends again.”

Maura narrows her eyes. “That’s it?” She walks around the table to stand closer to Jane, taking note of the way Jane seems to become more alert. She looks up – has Jane always been this much taller than her? Her heels are shorter than usual today; that must be it. She looks up to meet Jane’s eye. “There’s nothing else?”

“Uh…” Jane stares back at her, mouth slightly open. “No?”

“It has nothing to do with… what you asked me about yesterday?” Maura smirks. “The dream?”

Jane squeezes her eyes shut. “I was hoping you forgot about that.”

Maura laughs. “You still haven’t told me who it was about.”

“I’m pretty sure I told you I wasn’t going to.”

Maura shrugs. She knows what she’s doing; she _knows_ Jane is caught in her trap. She’s not an idiot. Jane’s reaction the previous night, what almost happened this morning, it wasn’t nothing. It meant something. The things she feels for Jane, she knows Jane is feeling them too. It’s just a matter of getting her to admit it.

And maybe she hasn’t even yet admitted it to herself.

So Maura moves even closer. She watches the way Jane’s jaw sets, can see her pushing something down before it can come to the surface. Softly, Maura murmurs, “I believe I told you I was going to get it out of you.” She smiles. It’s working perfectly.

Jane is squirming in her boots, looking around the room at anything but Maura, her fingers twitching at her sides. She licks her lips. The simple, unconscious nervous tick sends shivers down Maura’s spine, and she feels a stirring down below.

Maura holds her breath as she reaches her hand out to touch Jane’s arm. She’s done it a million times, but this is different. She doesn’t want to push her luck. Her fingers gently find their place on olive skin, and Maura revels at the way Jane automatically leans closer. She can’t stop staring, drinking in the beauty of the woman in front of her, memorizing every feature she’s seen a million times but hasn’t taken the time to appreciate until now.

Wide brown eyes dancing with a cocktail of emotions, sharp cheekbones and chiseled jawbone set in an attempt to disguise her feelings, soft, gently pouting lips quivering just so slightly. It’s those lips that are really drawing Maura in. It’s like a magnetic force, pulling her closer with every breath. It’s impossible to look away. It’s honestly a miracle she’s holding herself back, but she knows a kiss would be too much for Jane. She doesn’t want to overwhelm her.

So they just stand there for a while, Maura’s hand resting feather-light on Jane’s arm, Jane trying to rein in her jagged breathing, so much between them but neither brave enough to say it out loud. Finally, Maura decides the tension is becoming too much. She’s made her point. She pulls her hand away and turns around, heading for the door, but she’s stopped by Jane’s hand grabbing her wrist and pulling her back.

And suddenly, their lips are crashing together, and Jane’s lips are soft and they taste like strawberry chapstick, and Maura’s hands are everywhere, everywhere, _everywhere_. It’s like… it’s like being high, it’s like being on fire, it’s like being terrified but in the most beautiful of ways and her stomach is doing flip flops, backflips, acrobatic twists, every time Jane pulls her flush against her body, every twist of Maura’s fingers in Jane’s hair, and her skin burns in every place where Jane is touching it and when they finally break apart her head is spinning.

They’re both breathing hard and Maura can’t stop smiling. And Jane looks… like she’s going to throw up.

“Jane?” Maura murmurs. She reaches out to touch Jane’s arm again, but Jane jerks her arm away.

“Uh, I gotta go.”

Maura tries to reply, but before she can Jane is pushing past her and bolting out the door, hand on her lips and brows furrowed in… remorse? Her chest tightens in that familiar feeling again, and she slowly brings a hand to touch her kiss-swollen lips. For once in her life, her brain is completely silent, void of any rationalization, no scientific explanation for what just happened. She’s just here, alone, with a quiet mind and a burning chest.

That same old heartache.


	9. Poison & Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Poison & Wine" by The Civil Wars

Jane’s lips are tingling as she bolts out of the morgue, one-track mind focused on getting as far away from… whatever just happened as she can. She ends up back upstairs in the bathroom, sitting in the toilet with her head in her hands. She can still feel Maura’s hands all over her body, can still taste Maura on her tongue, and suddenly she realizes that her arms feel empty without Maura in them. It’s like she was always meant to be there, head resting on Jane’s shoulder like it doesn’t belong anywhere else.

And maybe it doesn’t.

Maybe Maura doesn’t belong anywhere else but in Jane’s arms. Jane drops her hands down to fidget nervously in her lap. It’s only been two days. Two days since she had that dream, since she started looking at Maura differently. So why does it feel like it’s been so much longer?

It’s as though she’s had this buried inside her the whole time they’ve known each other, and all it took was one dream to dig it up. But then, why is it so terrifying? Jane takes a deep breath. She needs to distance herself from her emotions and look at the situation rationally. She needs to look at it like a cop.

She knows she and Maura are closer than most friends. Almost dying together more than once will do that to you. But looking back at the past few years, she starts remembering things. Little things, things out of the ordinary for even best friends. She remembers opening the fridge at Maura’s house one night and finding her favorite beer sitting next to the cream cheese. She remembers going out the next day and buying Maura’s favorite wine – at least, her favorite wine that could be purchased on Jane’s salary. She remembers not even having to ask; she just _knew_ exactly what Maura liked.

She remembers nights when they would stay up all night, switching between working on cases and just talking. She remembers the first time Maura cried in front of her, and how she didn’t even hesitate to reach out and wipe the tears away from her face. She remembers meeting Maura’s mother, the absolute frenzy of preparation before Constance’s arrival, how the only thing that seemed to calm her down was Jane squeezing her hand in both of hers.

“Holy shit,” Jane whispers. She drags both hands through her hair. She might be gay. Or bi. Or… it doesn’t matter. She’s got a thing for Maura. And after she ran away from their kiss, Maura probably hates her. “Fuck,” she says out loud.

Her phone buzzes a in her pocket. She opens it to two texts coming in at the same time; one from Frost and one from Maura. She shakes her head. She can’t deal with Maura quite yet. Frost is calling her back to the detectives’ office to talk to their victim’s neighbor. She stands up, takes a few deep breaths, and forces her mind back into work mode. The rest can wait.

Upstairs, Frost flags her down as soon as she walks in. “She’s waiting in questioning room 1.” He frowns. “You okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” Jane wrings her hands. “Let’s go.” She doesn’t leave time for Frost to pry. The two of them enter the questioning room and sit down across from the woman. “Thank you for coming in, Mrs. Edwards.”

“Please, it’s Kathy.” She leans forward slightly. “What is it you need?”

Frost opens up his notepad as Jane begins running down their list of questions. “Kathy, how long did you live across from the Duke family?”

“About three years, I think. They moved in just before their little girl was born.”

“Did you ever notice anything suspicious?”

Kathy sighs. “I try not to be too nosy. We weren’t close; we’d say ‘hi’ on the streets but that’s about it.”

Jane rests her clasped hands on the table. “We believe that James had been having an affair. Ever see anything that might be related to that?”

“Let me think.” Kathy pauses for a moment, clearly racking through her brain for anything helpful. “I know Leah travels quite a bit, and she usually brings Charlotte with her. I think she was something of an adventurer.” She smiles slightly. “I did notice sometimes the same car would often be in the driveway when she was gone. I assumed it was business, but I suppose it could have been… something else.”

“Can you describe the car? Make and model?”

Kathy chuckles softly. “I’m afraid I’m quite clueless when it comes to cars. It was black, a sedan type. That’s all I remember.”

Jane nods. “Anything else you can think of?”

“Not at the moment.”

“Thank you for your time, Kathy.” Jane stands up, and the others follow suit. “And please call us if you remember anything else.”

Kathy shakes Jane’s hand. “Of course. I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help, Detectives.”

Jane and Frost sit back down at their desks, no further in the investigation than they were before. Jane taps her fingers absently on her desk, sneaking glances to her phone but unable to work up the guts to check it.

“Uh, Jane?” Frost’s voice snaps her out of it. “What’s going on with you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Something’s clearly bugging you. That or you’re practicing your drum solo.” He gestures to her fingers still tapping on the desk.

Jane sighs. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just missed breakfast this morning.” She smiles weakly. “I’m gonna go down to the café.”

“Want some company?”

“No,” she says, maybe a little too quickly. She stands up, hesitating for a moment before snatching up her phone and walking quickly to the elevator. She taps her fingers nervously on the back of her phone, trying to work up the nerve to open Maura’s text. She’s being ridiculous, of course. She’s faced near death multiple times, stared down the barrel of a gun without an ounce of fear, but she’s reduced to _this_ just from a kiss.

A _really good_ kiss.

She steps into the elevator, not realizing until it’s too late that she’s automatically pressed the floor for the morgue. She walks to the window, hoping she can peer in without being seen, but she’s quickly caught when Maura turns her head and looks Jane directly in the eye.

With a deep breath, Jane pushes the door open and steps in. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Maura sets down her clipboard and pen. “Did you get my message?”

“Uh, I haven’t looked at it.” Jane smiles nervously. “I was in questioning.”

Maura nods. “I wanted to make sure you were all right.” She takes a hesitant step forward. “You seemed pretty anxious to get out of here earlier.”

“Yeah.” Jane steps closer, meeting Maura in the middle of the room. “I…” she trails off, not really sure what she was going to say.

“Maybe… we should talk about it later. Let me make you dinner tonight?”

Jane hesitates, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “I’ll just have to stop at home first and shower.”

“Of course. Can I expect you around six?”

“Sure.” Jane offers a quivering smile. Her heart is pounding and her palms are suddenly sweating like the Amazon. “I should probably uh…” she gestures vaguely upward, back toward the office.

Maura nods. “Yes, I should as well.” She smiles back. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you tonight.” Jane leaves the morgue smiling, heart still racing. She goes to the elevator, walking right past the café without a second thought. There’s no room for it. The only thing on her mind now is Maura… and what the hell she’s going to wear tonight.


	10. Hold On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "You Really Got a Hold on Me" cover by She & Him

Maura’s entire body feels like it’s sparkling as she moves around her kitchen, peeking through her pantries and trying to decide the perfect meal for tonight. She finally decides on a rustic homemade pizza; the perfect representation of the blend of the two of them. She adds pesto, shredded chicken, a bit of mozzarella, and a couple of tomatoes and pops it in the oven. She smiles; she’s timed it perfectly so it will be done just as Jane arrives.

It’s about 5:30 now, giving Maura just enough time to change out of her work clothes and into something a little more casual. She walks into her closet and heads straight to the back. She’s been mentally running through her wardrobe all day, and she knows exactly the outfit for tonight. Casual, not intimidating, but enough skin showing to leave options open. She grins at herself in the mirror. It’s perfect.

It’s only a few minutes to six by now, and the oven is sounding downstairs. Maura heads down to take the pizza out, giving herself a pep talk the whole way. “It’s just Jane,” she murmurs to herself. “You have dinner with Jane all the time. There’s no one better in the world to be doing this with.” She smiles wide. “This is it.”

The pizza is cooling on the counter, the wine is breathing, the lighting is just right, and Maura’s feeling on top of the world. Tonight will be the beginning of something good. Something so perfect. Something she’s been waiting for since she learned the word “love”. She sits down on the couch to have the perfect view of the driveway. She wants to see the exact moment Jane pulls up.

It’s a few minutes past six. Maura smiles to herself; she never should have expected Jane to be on time. It’s not in her nature. Maura settles into the couch and picks up one of the journals on the coffee table to pass the time.

It’s nearly twenty minutes later before she realizes how invested she’s gotten in the research. She frowns. Jane is chronically late, but never by this much. Worry pools in the bottom of her stomach. Something must have happened with the case; Jane is probably out chasing down some bad guy or on a stakeout or… whatever else they do. Maura mostly sticks to her part of things.

She grabs her phone off the table. Nothing has come in from Jane. Maura dials her number, placing the phone to her ear, crossing her fingers for an answer. It goes to voicemail. And not the kind where it rings and rings and no one’s there; it’s the kind where it rings just once before the person on the other end declines it.

Maura hangs up, holding her phone tightly for a moment as she processes. Jane declined her call. On purpose. She stood her up and declined her call.

Maura pulls her legs up and tucks them underneath her. She starts going through the events of the day, trying to understand what could have happened to change Jane’s mind so quickly. Just a few hours ago, she was kissing Maura with a passion that nearly swept her off her feet. And now… nothing. But then, maybe it is just work. Maybe she’s getting worked up over nothing. She types out a quick text.

_Are you coming?_

She sets her phone down. Her chest feels tight and her hands are shaking just a bit. She hasn’t known anxiety like this in quite a while. She goes back into the kitchen and pours herself a glass of wine.

The pizza has gone cold, but she cuts a piece anyway. There’s no sense in waiting for someone who doesn’t want to come. She paces the kitchen as she eats. The pizza is admittedly delicious – not that she expected otherwise; she’s well aware of her aptitude in the kitchen – even though part of her wishes it tasted as horrible as she feels.

Yes, she’s only been aware of her feelings for Jane since last night, but this feels so much heavier than any other crush she’s ever had. This is more. She knows it, and she knows Jane knows it, so why is she here alone eating pizza right now instead of in Jane’s arms where she knows she belongs?

Maybe she should try texting her again. If she really is working, Jane probably isn’t checking her phone. She probably hasn’t seen it yet. Maura sets down her pizza and goes back to the living room. Her heart starts pounding as she gets closer. Her mind is spinning, running through one unlikely scenario after another. She imagines Jane out in the field, staring down the barrel of a gun, terrified for her life; she imagines an angry, biting remark sent in reply to Maura’s text; she imagines a long-winded apology explaining how she just fell asleep and she’d be over soon. What she sees however, is something she’d never considered. Her message sits there just as before, with no response. But her hand tightens around her phone as she reads the words below it.

 _Read 6:32pm_.

And nothing else.


	11. Not in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "I'm Not in Love" by 10cc

Jane stuffs her phone back in her pocket with an angry huff and switches the vacuum cleaner back on. She knows Maura isn’t attuned to subtlety, but even she should be able to take this hint. Of course she’s not coming. She never should have agreed to come in the first place. She feels bad for leading Maura on, but her judgment was clouded. She was just trying to make Maura feel better about the crush she clearly has on Jane.

That’s it.

Caught up in the moment, she got herself all confused, but now’s the time to set everything straight. Literally. She shuts off the vacuum and checks her watch. It’s pretty early to go to bed, but she doesn’t care. She’s exhausted and they’ve got an early day tomorrow. She puts the vacuum away and heads to the bedroom, not having the will to check her messages again before she falls fast asleep.

* * *

 Frost is already there when Jane comes in, and there’s a coffee sitting on her desk. She arches an eyebrow. “What’s this?”

“You always come in early when you’re stressed in your... personal life.” He shrugs. “Figured we might as well work.”

Jane sits down. “I’m not stressed,” she mutters.

“Really.” Frost scoffs. “You forget you work with a bunch of detectives?” He adjusts his jacket. There’s a long pause while he tries to decide what to say. “Dr. Isles called me last night.”

“Are you kidding me?” Jane drags her hands through her hair.

“Are you two fighting again? I thought everything was okay.”

Jane sighs. “No, we’re not – everything is fine. She’s just... trying to make things different.”

Frost raises his eyebrows. “Oh, I get it.”

“Get what?”

“She finally told you about her crush on you.”

Jane’s eyes go wide. “How the hell did you know about that? Wait – how did you even know she was bi?”

Frost grins. “I got her talking about dorm stories.” He shakes his head. “But that’s not the point. The point is, why are you blowing her off? It’s pretty obvious she’s not the only one with a crush.”

“Excuse me? I’m straight. I’ve always _been_ straight.”

“If you ask me, that’s a pretty lame excuse not to be with the love of your life. Besides, that’s what my mom used to say.” He shrugs. “Sometimes you surprise even yourself with these things.”

“She’s not the lo-” she cuts herself off. It’s hard for her to say. “Just what the hell are you trying to do, here?”

“Convincing you that you deserve to be happy. Clearly not doing a great job.” Frost shakes his head and turns back to his computer. “Let’s just work, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jane opens up her computer as well, but her mind is a million miles away. Or, more precisely, about three miles away, in a big house in Beacon Hill. Maybe Frost is right; maybe she is being an idiot. But even if she is a little gay (which she isn’t), even if she does have feelings for Maura (which she doesn’t), none of that is risking their friendship over.

Frost’s phone buzzes, and he looks over at Jane. “Dr. Isles is here early, too.” He gives her a pointed look before continuing. “She says she has something for us.”

“I’ll go,” Jane says quickly, already on her feet. “I need to talk to her.” She grabs the coffee Frost brought and heads to the elevator, heart already pounding. Maura’s probably _beyond_ pissed at her. And after they’ve only just made up from their last fight, Jane’s terrified this could be the nail in the coffin. By trying to preserve their friendship, she may have just ruined it.

Maura is in her office when she gets downstairs, absently sipping her coffee and reading through some files. She’s clearly expecting anyone but Jane. Jane wrings her hands as she slowly steps to the open door. “Hey,” she says softly.

Maura doesn’t look up. “Can I help you?”

“Frost said you had something for the case.” Jane sighs. She enters the office and sits down on one of Maura’s absurdly comfortable chairs. “And... I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“For standing me up or leading me to believe you were coming in the first place?”

“Maura-” Jane breaks off. “Can you please look at me?”

There’s a long pause. Finally, Maura slowly closes her folder and looks up to meet Jane’s eye. “Do you know how absolutely foolish I felt waiting around for you last night? Bass couldn’t even be in the same room as me because of the anxiety I was feeling.”

“I... I had no idea.” Jane sighs. “I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have led you on.”

Maura scoffs. “Jane, you’re a bad liar and I’m not an idiot.”

“I know you’re not.”

“So you really expect me to believe that kiss was just for _my_ benefit?” Maura shakes her head. “I know you better than that, Jane. And you know _me_ better than anyone else; you know how much it hurts me when people treat me differently. And, until yesterday, you were the only person in the world who had never made me feel that way.”

Jane doesn’t say anything for a minute. She’s not like Maura; she doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve like that. She’s never been good at saying what she’s feeling. Hell, she doesn’t even know if she knows what she’s feeling. “I don’t want to risk our friendship,” she murmurs finally.

Maura sighs. “You think I haven’t thought the same thing?” She stands up and walks around the desk to sit across from Jane. The proximity sends lightning bolts through Jane’s body, however she tries to ignore them. “Why do you think I wanted to talk last night?” She’s softer now, the edge having melted away at Jane’s admission. “Jane, this is terrifying for both of us. But it’s been building for a long time.”

“How long have you... wanted this?”

“I don’t know. But I didn’t realize it until we were at the bar.” Maura looks away slightly and reaches up to fiddle with her hair. “I was afraid you’d react badly. But the next morning it seemed like you...” she trails off.

“I was.” Jane clears her throat. “I am.”

“So then what’s the problem?”

“It’s just... it’s easier for you, you know? Everything is so fluid.” Jane drops her head into her hands. “My Ma wants a big Catholic wedding for me, and grandkids, and... God only knows what Pop would say.”

Maura reaches over and takes one of Jane’s hands in hers. The new significance of the gesture isn’t lost on either of them, but neither one moves away. “I’m not asking you to marry me, Jane. I’m not asking you to tell anyone – in fact, I’d like to keep it quiet for a while myself.” She gives Jane’s hand a slight squeeze, prompting her to look her in the eye. “I’m just asking you to give us a chance.”

“Maura...” Jane pauses, reveling for a moment in the feeling of holding Maura’s hand. She never knew being this close to someone could feel this amazing. She’s tried so hard, but it’s impossible now, sitting here with Maura, to deny how much she wants this. “After everything that’s happened, I can’t lose you again.”

Maura smiles softly. With her other hand, she slowly traces Jane’s jawline. Her voice is gentle and sweet when she finally speaks. “You won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who doesn't love a good old fashioned gay panic am i right ???


	12. Lovebug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Lovebug" by the Jonas Brothers
> 
> bc what's a fanfic without the jobros???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok sooooo i'm not a science person. like. not even remotely. as @AudacityofHuge put it, most of what maura and susie say here is "plausible nonsense". or just straight up plausible bullshit. your call.
> 
> oh well, i know y'all don't read this for the science anyway. enjoy our favorite idiots!!!

_“Maura...” Jane pauses, reveling for a moment in the feeling of holding Maura’s hand. She never knew being this close to someone could feel this amazing. She’s tried so hard, but it’s impossible now, sitting here with Maura, to deny how much she wants this. “After everything that’s happened, I can’t lose you again.”_

_Maura smiles softly. With her other hand, she slowly traces Jane’s jawline. Her voice is gentle and sweet when she finally speaks. “You won’t.”_

 

Maura lets her hand linger on Jane’s face as she waits for a reaction. She feels Jane’s jaw soften under her touch, even catches a hint of a smile.

Slowly, Jane reaches up to cover Maura’s hand with her own. “I love you,” she murmurs, voice cracking slightly. “You know that, right?”

“Of course.” Maura grins. “But I like hearing it.” She leans forward slightly, but stops herself. She wants nothing more than to kiss Jane right now, but she doesn’t want to ruin the delicate balance they have. She can’t push it too far. “So, can we talk tonight? For real?”

Jane nods. “You can even wait here and drive me back yourself if you want.”

“No.” Maura squeezes her hand. “I trust you.”

“Really?”

Maura nods. “We wouldn’t have made it this far if I didn’t.” They don’t move for a little bit, willing the moment to last as long as possible, but eventually, time catches up to them. Maura sighs and stands up. Her hand feels so empty without Jane’s in it, but she forces herself to ignore it. “We need to get to work.”

“Yeah.” Jane turns to leave, but Maura stops her with a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Jane, you can’t keep running away every time you get scared. It only makes everything worse.”

Jane nods. “I know,” she says quietly. “I’m sorry, Maura.”

“It’s okay.” Maura smiles. “Go catch a killer. I’ll let you know if I get anything.” She stops abruptly. “Wait. I do have something. I forgot I asked you down here for a reason.”

“Technically you asked Frost.” Jane smirks. “What did you find?”

“James had intercourse within about 24 hours of his death. I found semen in his rectum.”

Jane wrinkles her nose. “Great. Get a DNA match?”

Maura shakes her head. “Whoever it was doesn’t have a record. But we have it here for testing.”

“It’s gotta be the boyfriend.” Jane shakes her head. “We just need to track him down.”

“You’ll figure it out. You always do.” Maura smiles. She watches Jane leave with her stomach aflutter, a complete 180° from her anger earlier in the day. Her entire body is buzzing with excitement. After Ian, she never expected to feel like this again. But here she is, walking around the lab with a stupidly wide smile and a wandering mind.

The door opens and Maura whips around, half-expecting to see Jane, but instead meet’s Susie’s eye. “Good morning!” she calls cheerfully.

Susie smiles. “Dr. Isles, you seem like you’re in a good mood today.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Maura walks over to Susie and places a hand on her shoulder. “And please call me Maura. We’ve worked together long enough to be on a first-name basis.”

“But you worked so hard for that title. It’s only respectful to use it; it’s... a badge of honor.” Susie looks at Maura like a deer in headlights.

“Thank you, Susie.” Maura smiles and squeezes her shoulder. “But it would be an even higher honor being your friend.”

Susie clears her throat. After a long pause, she offers a hesitant smile. “Okay. Maura.”

Maura grins. “Now, enough chit-chat. Let’s start by analyzing the results from the tox screen, shall we?”

“Right.” Susie moves over to the lab table and pulls out the folder with the results. “He had a blood alcohol content of about .31, but there doesn’t appear to be any sign of illicit drugs in his system.”

“Well, that would explain the lack of DNA under the fingernails. He was too intoxicated to effectively defend himself.” Maura crosses her arms. “His liver was showing some early signs of alcohol abuse, though that could be attributed to a number of things. The damage wasn’t advanced enough to conclusively determine the source.”

“There’s something else.” Susie picks up a page of diagrams and equations and leads Maura back to the body, pulling back the sheet to examine the wounds in his back.

“We first determined the wounds were all delivered while the victim was lying face down, but I took a second look. These two were delivered while the victim was upright. The rest were after he was on the floor.” She points at one near the top and another toward the left side. “And these three were delivered postmortem.” She gestures to a few wounds near the center of his back.

Maura takes a closer look. “This clearly wasn’t done by an experienced killer.” She refers back to her notes. “And the wound tracks match the dimensions of the knife missing from the kitchen. The killing appears to be quite spontaneous.”

Susie frowns. “Are you speculating?”

“Theorizing,” Maura corrects with a grin. “I just have a good feeling about this one.”

“Dr. I – _Maura_ ,” Susie amends after a pointed look from Maura. “You seem like you have a good feeling about today in general.”

Maura shrugs. “Maybe I do.”

Susie sets down her papers and steps hesitantly forward. “Is there... someone new?”

“Look who’s speculating now.” Maura winks. She laughs aloud at the horror on Susie’s face. Is she herself this uptight all the time? She makes a mental note to loosen up a little at work. “Yes and no.” With an air of finality, she turns around to collect her files. “Excuse me, I’ve got to go tell Jane what we’ve found.” As she walks away, she can feel Susie’s eyes on her.

“Maura,” Susie calls. “Your face is bright red.”

Maura glances over to the reflective surface of the table, confirming what Susie said. “So it is.” She attempts to finger-comb her hair forward to cover her face, to no avail.

“Let me.” Susie reaches into the freezer and presses a cold compress to Maura’s face. “To reverse the vasodilation of the blood vessels.”

“Of course.” Maura smiles weakly. “Thank you, Susie.”

Susie pulls back with a knowing smile. “Tell Detective Rizzoli I say hello.”

“You can call her Jane.” Maura raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t think I’m as close with her as you are.”

“Meaning?”

“Nothing.” Susie smirks. “Nothing at all.”


	13. Treacherous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Treacherous" by Taylor Swift

Jane nibbles at her fingernails as she stares at Maura’s front door. She’s been standing on the porch for nearly five minutes now. There’s a voice in the back of her mind screaming at her to turn and leave. She almost drove right past the exit, but she kept seeing images of Maura’s face when they spoke earlier. She couldn’t live with herself being the cause for that face again.

It’s a miracle Maura’s given her another chance. Over the past few weeks, Jane has hurt her and hurt her again… and again. She doesn’t deserve to be standing here right now; she knows that. And yet, here she is. Maura has the biggest heart of anyone Jane’s ever met, and she knows she’s damn lucky to have a place in it. If only she could stop fucking it up. Her hands are shaking just slightly, but she swallows every ounce of stubborn, stupid pride and knocks on the door.

It seems like an eternity before the door opens, revealing Maura standing on the other side. Somehow, she looks even more beautiful than she did earlier. “Jane.” She sounds a little surprised. “You know you don’t have to knock.”

“Right.” Jane laughs nervously. She wrings her hands in front of her. “Sorry.”

“Come in.” Maura steps aside to let her in.

Jane takes the mile-long trek to the living room with a pounding heart. She can hear Maura’s heels clicking behind her, but she refuses to turn around. She hasn’t yet built up enough courage to look Maura in the eye and own up to all she’s said, all she’s done… all she’s feeling and can’t seem to admit.

“I didn’t have time to make dinner,” Maura says, walking to the kitchen and opening the fridge. “But I’ve got Chinese on the way.” She comes to sit on the couch beside Jane with a glass of red in one hand and a beer in the other.

Jane takes the beer with a soft smile. Blue Moon. Her favorite. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“No, I mean thank you. For always having this around.” Jane taps her fingers nervously on the side of the bottle. “It means a lot.”

Maura’s eyes crinkle around the edges when she smiles. It’s something Jane never noticed before, but can’t look away from now. It’s like hidden in each little crease is another little smile reserved just for Jane. Maura takes a sip of her wine and sets it down on the coffee table. She folds her hands in her lap. “How are you feeling?”

Jane sighs. She takes a long drink from her bottle, knowing she’s stalling and knowing it’s obvious. “I don’t know.” She sets her drink down beside Maura’s. She laughs to herself. “You know, a few days ago you wanted to rip my head off.”

“This morning I wanted to rip your head off.” Maura giggles. “You’re right; it has been a pretty crazy couple of days.”

“So… how do we know this is… it’s not just some weird hormone thing? You know, from all the shit that’s happened between us lately?”

Maura thinks for a moment. She leans forward and places a hand on Jane’s knee. Instinctually, Jane leans into the touch. “I think it’s likely our feelings are being enhanced by the intensity of recent events. But I also think that was exactly what we needed to realize the true extent of our feelings.” She looks Jane straight in the eye. “Jane, you know this has been building for a long time.”

“Yeah,” Jane admits. With Maura looking at her like that, it’s impossible to lie to herself anymore. “We’ve always been closer than friends are supposed to be.”

Maura tilts her head. “Have we?”

Jane laughs aloud. Suddenly, she feels her entire body relaxing. Maura’s as clueless as ever about human relationships, and for a moment it feels like nothing has changed. “Yeah, I forget you never had a best friend before.”

 “You’re the only person that saw past the awkwardness.” Maura smiles. “You actually wanted to get to know me.”

“Because you’re incredible.”

“We both are.”

Jane sighs. “What if something happens? You know, something bad happens between us and we lose our friendship?” She rubs her temples. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

Maura squeezes Jane’s knee. With her other hand, she slips a finger under Jane’s chin, tilting her face up just enough to force her to meet her eyes. “Our friendship is stronger than that, Jane,” she says, voice barely above a whisper. “We survived Hoyt. The precinct shooting. Ian coming… and leaving. Everything that happened with Tommy, Hoyt again, the murders at your high school reunion…” she trails off. Her voice drops even lower when she speaks again. “We survived Paddy Doyle.” Her voice cracks, eyes starting to spill over.

Without even thinking, Jane reaches up and brushes the tears away from Maura’s face. “You’re right.” She smiles softly. “We’re never gonna be without each other, are we?”

“That’s what I intend.”

“So.” Jane clears her throat. “We’re doing this?”

Maura grins. Her eyes are still watering; they look almost like gemstones. Maura would know the name of the right one, as well as a plethora of fun facts on its origins and uses. “I think we are.” She slides her hand from underneath Jane’s chin to around the back of her neck, lighting Jane’s skin on fire everywhere she touches it. “Does that mean I can kiss you again?”

Jane’s heart leaps into her throat. Every inch of her body still remembers that first kiss, how absolutely electric it was. It’s crying out for her to kiss Maura again, and again, and again. “Thought you’d never ask.”

 Pure desire is radiating off of Maura as she leans forward with all the urgency of a snail on vacation. Her breath is hot on Jane’s face. Her eyes slip shut, and their lips are a hair’s breadth from touching when there’s a loud knock at the door.

“Fuck,” Jane breathes. “Delivery guys have the worst timing.”

“I know.” Maura pulls back just far enough to meet Jane’s eye. “I am really hungry, though.”

Jane sighs heavily. “Yeah, me too. Raincheck for after the orange chicken?”

“And a breath mint.”

Jane grins. “Of course.” For a moment, neither of them move. Their faces just inches apart, eyes locked, just sitting. But the knock comes again. The moment is broken. But, as Maura gets up to go to the door, Jane watches her go with a smile on her face.

And finally, she doesn’t feel like running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all i know i'm like 2 years late on this but i just watched the finale for the first time and man.... that shit HURTED
> 
> so, naturally, i immediately went back and started watching again from episode 1 bc what else do people do with their lives besides watch rizzoli & isles????


	14. Inside Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Inside Out" by Spoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update lads, things have been crazy in my life as i'm about to release a book of original poetry!!! i'm super pumped, but updates may become more sporadic in the next couple weeks as things get more and more hectic with that. don't worry, i haven't forgotten our girls :')

Maura Isles is kissing Jane Rizzoli. They’re kissing on the couch, still sitting exactly where they were before, Maura’s fingers tangled in Jane’s hair holding her tight against herself. This kiss is different from the first one. Where yesterday (God, was that really just yesterday) there was intensity and fear and maybe a bit of anger, now is sweetness and a timidity she hasn’t seen in Jane before. It’s soft and it’s gentle and it’s slow because they have all the time in the world. There’s no hurry.

The recent days are a distant memory, the future a far off nothing. It’s like time has completely faded away, leaving only them, only now, only this kiss. Maura stops for a moment, pulling away just enough to look Jane in the eyes. “Are you okay?” she murmurs. Gently, she tucks a curl behind Jane’s ear.

“Never been better.” Jane grins and pulls Maura back into a kiss that’s all smiles and teeth. At some point, her hands end up on Maura’s hips, pulling her closer, closer, until Maura ends up in her lap, legs wrapped tightly around her.

Maura breaks the kiss, tossing her hair to one side and moving her lips to Jane’s neck. Her body tingles at the sound of Jane’s soft, barely-contained moan. “Jane,” she whispers against surprisingly soft skin. This might be the only part of Jane not hardened and calloused from a lifetime of sports and work injuries. She runs her tongue over a patch of skin and presses her nose closer, just taking in Jane’s scent. “Tell me when to stop.” She moves a hand down to the top button on Jane’s shirt, popping it open with one deft move.

“Don’t stop,” Jane breathes.

Maura moves to the next button. She moves to press her lips against Jane’s chest, tracing her tongue over the top of her breasts as she undoes the next button. Just as her hand grazes the top of the next button, however, Jane’s hand flies to her wrist and stops her in her tracks. Maura looks up.

Jane’s eyes are dancing with something Maura can’t identify. “Stop,” Jane whispers raggedly.

“Jane.” Maura sits up and slowly moves herself off of Jane’s lap. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Jane stares at some spot on the couch as she buttons her shirt back up. “I’m just… not there yet.”

Maura frowns. “Jane?” She reaches out, but Jane moves her hand away. “You just completely flipped a switch.” She pauses for a moment as she considers what to say next. “Do you remember what I said earlier? About not running away?”

“I’m not running, Maura. I’m right here.”

“Are you?”

Jane sighs and runs a hand through her thick curls. “It’s not pretty, Maur,” she says finally. “The scar.”

Maura tilts her head. “From the shooting?” She rests her hand on Jane’s leg, absently rubbing circles with her thumb. “I’ve seen it before. When it was fresh.”

“Yeah, as a doctor. You haven’t seen it… like this.” Jane bites at her lip. “No one has.”

“What about Casey?”

“Kept my shirt on.”

Maura scoots closer to Jane and slides a hand under her chin. She tilts Jane’s face up to meet her eye. “There is not a single part of you that I could possibly find ugly.”

Jane cracks a tiny smile. “My clothes?”

“That is completely different!” Maura grins and gently swats Jane’s arm. “It’s okay if you’re not ready for me to see it yet. I won’t push you. But please don’t think I’ll be repulsed by it.”

“Maura…” Jane trails off as her eyes start to water. “Let’s just forget it for now, okay? It doesn’t matter.”

Maura smiles. “Consider it forgotten.” She draws her hands back to her own body and glances around the room. “How about a movie?”

“Sounds perfect.”

After a brief fight over the movie selection, Jane wins out and puts on _21 Jump Street_. “I don’t know why you insist on watching police movies outside work,” Maura says with a smirk.

Jane just shrugs. She settles into the couch. After a moment, she reaches out and pulls Maura close to her with a firm arm around her shoulders.

Maura leans her head on Jane’s shoulder. She smiles to herself; it’s been a long time since she felt so perfectly content. She knows in the back of her mind that they have to return to work tomorrow, to focus on the case and somehow pretend to everyone around them that this never happened, but none of that matters right now. There’s only here. Only now.

At some point during the movie, Maura blinks her eyes open and finds herself lying in Jane’s lap, a soft gray blanket laid over her shoulders. Jane’s hand is resting on her hip, but her eyes are fixated on the screen. Maura sits halfway up and pulls Jane’s face down for a soft, chaste kiss. She grins as she pulls back.

“Sleep well?” Jane’s voice is low and husky. She brushes a strand of hair out of Maura’s face.

“Perfectly.” Maura wraps her arms around Jane’s waist and nestles herself further into Jane’s body, relishing the warmth it provides. She can hear Jane’s heart racing as she presses her head to her chest. “This is the perfect evening.”

“You’re the perfect person to spend it with.”

Maura smiles, but she’s too tired to reply. Her eyes are already getting heavy again. She lays back down, turning on her side to bury her face in Jane’s shirt, but not releasing her hold on Jane’s waist. She breathes in Jane’s scent. As Jane runs her fingers through Maura’s blonde curls, Maura’s breathing starts to slow, and she eventually falls asleep in the midst of this perfect moment.

And even though she doesn’t feel it, Jane continues to gently stroke her hair anyway.


	15. Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Lucky by Kat Edmonson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh we've hit 100 kudos!!!!!!!! thank you guys so much for reading and commenting; i hope you're all having as much fun reading this as i am writing it!!!

**_Six Weeks Later_ **

Maura’s already in the kitchen when Jane walks in. Glancing around quickly to make sure they’re alone, she runs across the room and sweeps Maura into a tight embrace. “Morning,” she whispers, burying her face in blonde hair and taking in the scent of lavender shampoo.

Maura melts into Jane’s arms without hesitation. “Good morning.” She stands up on her tiptoes, barefoot and even shorter than usual, and gently kisses Jane. This has been their routine the past few weeks; not that it was much of a change from their morning routine previously. Really, only the kissing is new. Maura slides out of Jane’s arms and returns to the sizzling pan on the stove, stirring the food inside.

“What the hell smells so good? Besides you, I mean.” Jane winks.

“You think you’re so charming, don’t you?” Maura shakes her head and continues pushing the veggies around the pan. “Spinach, chives, tomatoes, and lean sausage over egg whites.”

Jane frowns. “No pancakes?”

“The egg whites provide lean protein without all the cholesterol contained in the yolk, and having a serving of vegetables in the morning gives you more energy, and creates roughage in the gut to minimize discomfort in the passage of waste,” Maura says as she transfers the food from pan to plate. She holds it out to Jane with a smile, but Jane doesn’t take it.

“So... you’re force feeding me vegetables at seven in the morning... so I _poop better_?” Jane stares at Maura with both eyebrows raised. Maura’s reply, however, is cut off by Jane’s phone buzzing. “Rizzoli,” Jane answers, not breaking eye contact with her.

“Jane,” Frost says on the other line. “Remember the James Duke case?”

“Of course.” How could she forget the case that brought her and Maura together? With the boyfriend impossible to track down and a lack of any other leads, they had been forced to move on from the case weeks ago. The body was released back to Leah Duke just a week prior for the funeral. “Did we get something new?”

“Something _big_. You’re gonna want to come in.”

Jane sighs. “Better be good for me to come in early.”

“Oh, like you have plans at seven in the morning.”

“Actually, I do, thanks for asking.”

“I see.” Jane can hear the smile in Frost’s voice. “Tell Dr. Isles I say hi.”

Jane can feel her ears burning bright red. She hangs up the phone without bothering to reply. “Frost says hi,” she mutters.

Maura smiles. “Sounds important.”

“Yeah, apparently he got something new on the Duke case.”

“Oh, wow.” Maura’s eyes go wide. “Now I really wish I could be at work today.”

“Me too.” Jane sighs. “But it’s not every day your mother graces us with her presence. Besides, you haven’t had a day off in... years. You deserve one.”

Maura scoffs. “I don’t know if I’d call it a day off. I’ve got to clean the house top to bottom, prepare a seven-course dinner, clean the house again, get Bass settled upstairs because she still hasn’t gotten accustomed to him-”

“Maur.” Jane cuts her off, sensing that the rambling is bordering on panic. She rests her hands on Maura’s shoulders and rubs small circles on the soft fabric of her flannel shirt (actually, come to think of it, Jane’s pretty sure that’s _her_ shirt). “I know your mom can be kinda... intense. But she loves you. No matter how messy your house is or how many courses your dinner has or how weird your turtle is.”

“Tortoise,” Maura murmurs automatically. She takes a deep breath. “I know you’re right. I’m just not very good at failing.”

Jane grins. “I know.” She squeezes Maura’s shoulders. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay and help you get ready?”

“No, of course not, you’ve got a case.”

“He’s not getting any deader.”

Maura sighs. “I’ll be fine. I could use some time alone before she comes, anyway.” She looks up and holds Jane’s gaze. “You’ll be here for dinner, though, right?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” Jane pulls Maura into a tight hug, sighing softly as Maura’s head nestles perfectly into the crook of her neck. She brushes her lips across the top of Maura’s head. “You’re gonna be just fine, baby.”

Maura looks up at Jane with an arched eyebrow. “‘Baby’?”

“What?”

“I never thought you were the kind to give your significant other such silly nicknames.”

“Me either.” Jane shrugs. “I kinda like it on you, though.”

Maura tucks herself back into Jane’s arms and buries her face in Jane’s neck. “Me, too,” she murmurs, breath hot on Jane’s skin.

Jane sighs and reluctantly pulls out of the embrace. “I gotta go.”

“I know.”

“Call me if you need anything, okay? Please?”

Maura smiles softly. “I will.”

With one last light kiss, Jane grabs her keys off the counter and heads for the door. “See you later,” she calls. At the doorway, she stops and turns over her shoulder. “Babe,” she adds with an exaggerated wink.

Maura just laughs, and the sound sticks in Jane’s ears the entire drive to the station.

* * *

 “Okay, Kathy Edwards is one of the least helpful witnesses I’ve ever dealt with,” Frost says with a sigh. He passes Jane his notepad as she sits down. “But she’s all we got.”

Jane flips through Frost’s notes with a frown. “She saw the car again?”

“Apparently it drove by during the funeral.”

“And she didn’t think to look at the damn plates?”

Frost nods. His mouth stretches into a half-smile, half-grimace. “Says she was too focused on trying to figure out the make and model.”

“Did she at least figure that out?”

“What do you think?”

Jane rubs the sides of her temples. “So I came in early for the same useless shit we had a month and a half ago?”

“Not quite. You missed the last bit.”

“BCU Hockey sticker on the rear window? What does that help?”

Frost slides over a file. “Makes our friend Adam look real good right now.”

Jane smirks. She opens the file, refreshing herself on their last encounter with Adam Serrano. She would love nothing more than to put him in cuffs just to shut him up. “Work on getting a warrant. I’d like to see what kind of skeletons the Aryan Brother has in his closet.”

“Should I get Korsak to come with us?”

“Nah. I wanna see this guy’s face when he gets beat by a black guy and a dyke.” The words fall out of her mouth before she can stop them. She tenses. _Holy shit_ , she thinks to herself. _I think I just came out._ But, to her surprise, the world isn’t caving in around her. The ground isn’t shaking.

And Frost... doesn’t seem surprised. He doesn’t even say anything. He just smiles and returns to his work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this chapter was supposed to be 90% case stuff but i just got really caught up in our girls' morning together.... tryna pump as much fluff in as i can before more angst :)


	16. What Can I Do (But Love You)?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "What Can I Do (But Love You)?" by Joy Williams

Maura’s brain has never felt so full. She’s a certified genius; she’s been commended for her incredible intelligence, and yet, she’s finally pushed to her limit by a visit from her mother. She checks her watch for the fifth time in as many minutes. Somehow she’s convinced herself that hours are passing her by as she sits here scrubbing the toilet, that her mother is already at the door and she’s still in her gloves. She’s so stuck in her own head she doesn’t hear the front door open, doesn’t hear the sound of clunky boots climbing the stairs, doesn’t even hear the gentle knock on the bathroom door.

“Hey,” Jane says.

Maura jumps, knocking her head on the counter and letting out a few too many expletives. “You scared me,” she says, eyes squeezed shut against the throbbing of her head.

“I’m sorry. I thought you heard me.” Jane slowly helps her up, brushing her hair aside to look at the top of her head. “You’re not bleeding.” She kisses the tender spot and draws Maura close to her.

Automatically, Maura melts into Jane’s touch, wrapping her arms around her slim waist with a sigh. “I’ve been a little stuck in my head today,” she admits.

“Yeah, I noticed. Babe, I know you always get a little nuts when your mom comes, but this is way more than usual.”

Maura’s stomach flutters at the nickname. She didn’t think she would like it; she’s always hated it in past relationships. But it sounds nice coming out of Jane’s mouth. “It’s different this time.” She tightens her hold on Jane as she continues, as though the tighter she holds on the less Jane will want to run. “You and I weren’t together the last time she was here.”

Jane grins. “Hey, that reminds me, I wanna tell you what happened at work.” Jane gently guides Maura out of the bathroom and back to the living room, talking animatedly the whole way down the stairs. “I came out to Frost today. Well, I think. I didn’t mean to, it just kinda slipped out, but he didn’t even say anything. I think he knew already.” Jane sighs as they sit down on the couch together. “I think everyone knows already.”

“That’s amazing.” Maura reaches over and squeezes Jane’s hand. Hearing about Jane’s (semi) coming out has lifted a huge weight off of her mind already. It makes what she’s about to ask so much easier. “That’s really amazing, Jane.”

“I think… I might be ready to tell people.”

“That’s actually exactly what I wanted to ask you about.” Maura takes a deep breath and holds Jane’s gaze. “I want my mother to hear about us from me, not anyone else. And I want to tell her in person.”

Jane’s jaw hardens and she tenses beneath Maura’s touch. “You wanna tell her tonight?”

Maura nods. “Only if you’re ready. I know it’s… big.”

“It is.” Jane doesn’t say anything for a while – or maybe it just seems longer than it is because of Maura’s anxiety skewing her sense of time. Finally, she looks back up at Maura. “If we tell your mom, we have to tell mine.” Her fingers are drumming nervously on her leg. “Which means I have to tell my Pop.”

“I… didn’t think of that.” God. How could she not think of that? Maura’s mentally kicking herself for being so self-absorbed as she waits with baited breath for Jane to continue.

“But I don’t think there’s any point pushing it off any longer.” Jane offers a shaky smile. “Whatever he says, he’ll say whether I tell him now or a year from now.”

Maura leans forward slightly. “You’re okay with telling my mother?”

Jane nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay with that.” She’s barely finished her sentence when her lips are suddenly occupied with Maura’s.

Maura pulls Jane as close as she possibly can, tangling her fingers tight in curly hair, fully immersed in every single second she spends with Jane’s lips on hers. Never before has she felt more safe, more incredibly loved, than right here on this couch. Before they can push it any further, however, Jane breaks the kiss, drawing a tiny whimper of protest from Maura.

“Babe, your mom is gonna be here any minute.”

 _Shit_. For just a moment, she’d completely forgotten about the impending dinner with Constance. She brings a hand to her lips, sure her lipstick is smeared everywhere, and glances to Jane’s to see traces of her shade around the edges. “I should get myself cleaned up,” she says, unsure if she’s speaking to Jane or to herself.

“Might be a good idea.” Jane grins.

Maura stands up and smooths nonexistent wrinkles out of her dress, turning to head to the bathroom. She stops herself. Turning back around, she grabs the box off tissues off the coffee table and hands it to Jane. “Lipstick,” she says, managing a smile through the panic building inside her.

When she finally catches sight of herself in the mirror, her breath trips over itself. She’s a mess. Lipstick smeared, hair disheveled and tangled, not to mention the telltale flush of her cheeks. God, it’s like she’s a teenager sneaking a boy into her room, trying not to get caught by her mother – not an experience she’d personally had, of course, but she’d heard enough accounts of others’ misfortunes to understand the feelings associated with the situation.

Slowly, rhythmically, she wipes away the lipstick on her mouth and face, reapplying the concealer around the edges of her mouth as she selects a new lip color. She needs something dark, something bold, to draw attention away from the redness in her face. Finally, she settles on a rich mauve shade. Her hands are just slightly quivering, making her strokes uneven. Of course, the jaggedness would be nearly imperceptible to anyone else, but she can see it. She knows the flaw is there.

She’s just finishing the application when the sound of the doorbell fills the house, and her stomach feels as though it’s dropping straight to her feet. She sets the lipstick down with suddenly wildly shaking hands, wincing as it clatters loudly against the counter. She hears the front door open, hears Jane welcoming Constance inside with a smile Maura can feel all the way in here.

It’s enough. She takes a few deep breaths to steady herself, willing herself to keep her focus on Jane’s voice. It will be comfort enough to get her through the night. It will keep her grounded. It has to. She presses a smile onto her face and opens the door, walking out to greet her mother. As she takes Constance’s hands and kisses her cheeks, her mind is already ticking down the seconds until the point of no return.

_5..._

_4..._

_3..._


	17. Rich Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Rich Girl" by Hall and Oates

Jane can feel her heart pounding in her ears as she sits down next to Maura. The smile plastered on her face is unwavering, but she’s starting to wonder if Constance can see right through her anyway. Of course she won’t let Maura see it – the poor woman is a wreck as it is – but she’s absolutely petrified for this conversation. Their relationship is still so new, and the first person they’re telling is, of course, one of the scariest people Jane’s ever met. In this moment, she might just be even more terrified than she was facing down Charles Hoyt.

Constance eyes Jane up and down, and Jane can see the distaste in her eyes as she focuses on the snag in the sleeve of Jane’s dress. Her breath catches. Maura had told her to hide it with a jacket; why hadn’t she listened? “I didn’t know you would be joining us, Jane,” Constance says in that soft, affected accent Jane swears is fake.

Jane forces her smile even wider. “Good to see you too.”

“How was your flight, Mother?” Maura asks with a sidelong glance at Jane. Her message is clear. _Behave_.

“It was rather turbulent. To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure how much of an appetite I’m going to have tonight.” Constance shakes her head. “Why it’s so difficult to balance a plane is beyond me.”

Jane bites her tongue. There’s a million snarky things she wants to say to this woman absolutely _dripping_ in privilege, but right now Maura is more important. Maura is _most_ important. Always. “I’m sorry you’re not feeling good,” she says instead. She picks up her wine and takes a sip, trying to pretend it’s a Blue Moon instead.

“Well,” Maura corrects her. She turns back to face Constance and clears her throat. “Mother, I actually have some good news for you. Jane and I are together.”

Jane almost chokes on her drink. She knew this was coming, of course, but she thought Maura would at least wait until after the first course. But no, there it is, out in the open, with absolutely no preamble. The band-aid has been ripped off and she’s stinging. She smiles weakly as Constance turns to face her with eyebrows raised so high they might just fly right off of her face.

“That’s lovely, darling.” Constance’s voice and eyes are both flat and emotionless as she keeps her gaze focused on Jane.

It seems to be enough for Maura, however, whose face breaks out into a wide smile. “Thank you.” She turns her head to look at Jane, reaching over to grab her hand beneath the table and giving it a tight squeeze. “Excuse me; I’m going to go get the hors d'oeuvres.”

“Do you want help?” Jane asks.

“No, don’t worry. Besides, you two need time to get to know each other!” Maura flashes a bright smile and heads into the kitchen with a spring in her step. As she’s assembling the food on the counter, Jane can’t help but smile at how truly dorky her girlfriend can be sometimes.

“Maur, you realize your kitchen isn’t a separate room, right?” she calls. “Like, you’re literally still right here.”

Maura doesn’t even look away from the plate. “Just pretend I’m not here.”

Turning back to Constance, Jane clears her throat and takes a long sip of her wine. She smiles. “So, uh, you like the Sox?” _Jesus Christ_ , she thinks. _Of course she doesn’t like the_ Sox _._ _If she even knows what I’m talking about._

Constance frowns. “Excuse me?”

“Never mind. It’s baseball.”

“I see.” Constance pauses to sip her wine. “Where did you go to school?”

“South Boston High.”

“And University?”

“Didn’t go. Straight to police academy.”

Constance raises an eyebrow, but, to her credit, keeps her mouth shut. Clearly they’re both focused on Maura tonight. It may be the only thing they have in common, but it’s enough.

“Jane was the top of her class,” Maura calls, pride shining in her voice. “And the youngest to be promoted to homicide.”

“That’s weird, I thought you weren’t here.” Jane winks.

Constance nods thoughtfully. “That’s quite impressive.” With a heavy sigh, she stands up and walks over to stand beside Maura at the counter. “Darling, I’m so sorry, but I’m afraid I’m still quite ill from the plane. I think I’d better go back to my hotel and rest.”

Maura’s face falls in an instant. “Oh. Of course. Would you like to take some food with you? It should travel well.”

“That’s all right; you ladies can enjoy it for yourselves.” Constance briefly glances back at Jane. “But if you don’t mind, I would like to speak with you privately before I leave.”

Maura hesitates. She looks over at Jane, and Jane shrugs. “I’ll, uh, go get settled in the guest room.” She stands up, tugging her dress down as she does, and goes into the guest room off the kitchen. Of course, not one to be left in the dark, she leaves the door open just a crack so she can hear everything.

“Is everything all right, Mother?”

“Yes, darling, everything is just fine.” Constance sighs. “Are you sure about her?”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s not like us; she lives in a different world from us.”

“I left that world, Mother. Jane and I are on equal planes.”

“I just don’t know that she’s the right fit for you, dear.”

“Why?” Maura’s starting to raise her voice now. “Because she doesn’t come from money? Because she didn’t go to college? Because she’s direct and sarcastic and, frankly, crude sometimes?” She sighs. “Mother, I cannot believe you could be so shallow. If you took the time to get to know Jane you would see that none of that makes her any less than us. In fact, those are some of the things I love most about her.”

There’s a long pause. Jane’s stomach is churning. Constance is saying exactly what Jane’s known since she first met Maura. They’re from two completely different worlds. And maybe it wasn’t such a big deal when they were just friends, but it’s different now. Maura should be with someone who can take her to operas and fancy French restaurants and France itself. Someone who actually understands and appreciates all those things. Someone who can sit with Constance and chat for hours about color theory and who doesn’t think China Silk is a type of pie.

She runs a hand through her hair and sits down on the bed with a heavy sigh. She doesn’t bother listening to the rest of the conversation. She knows it’ll just be more of the same. She takes the opportunity to change back into her t-shirt and jeans, tossing the dress across the room a little more aggressively than is probably necessary. She can't help how angry it makes her.

After a few minutes, the door opens and Maura walks in, arms wrapped around herself. “I’m assuming you heard all of that.” It’s not even phrased as a question. Maura really does know her too damn well.

“Yeah.”

Maura sighs and sits down beside Jane. She takes both of her hands, running her thumbs gently over the scars. “Jane, you know none of that matters to me, right? The money, the degrees, none of it.”

“I know.” Jane’s voice is raspier than usual, giving her away, but she can’t seem to bring it back to normal.

“Please promise me you won’t listen to a word my mother says.” Maura drops one of Jane’s hands to cup her jawline instead. Her thumb brushes gently across Jane’s cheek, drawing a tiny smile to her face. “I love every single part of you. Unconditionally.”

Jane reaches up and covers Maura’s hand with her own. “I love you, too,” she whispers. She glances away for a moment. “Maybe we could keep this on the down-low for just a little longer?”

Maura nods. “I thought the same thing.” She laughs. “That was a bit of a disaster, huh?”

“Little bit, yeah.” Jane smiles, and this time, she doesn’t have to fake it. “What should we do now?”

“Do you want to go to bed?” Maura’s voice drops lower. She flicks her eyes down to Jane’s lips.

It’s a line they haven’t crossed yet. Jane’s been pushing it off, half because she’s terrified of her own naivety, half because it’s the point of no return for them. It’s impossible to go back to being just friends after that. She waits for the anxiety to flood her system as it does every time the subject comes up, but it doesn’t come. Instead, all she feels is heat pooling between her legs. She slips her hand around the back of Maura’s neck and pulls her in for a soft kiss. When they break, Maura’s looking up at her with wide, darkened eyes. Jane’s mind goes blank, except for three magic words.

“Let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is gonna be super long and super M-rated.... feel free to skip it if you're not into that, you will be missing zero plot. if that's all you were waiting for, well......... the wait is almost over, folks ;)


	18. Explosion/Wear. Me. Out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Explosion" by Zolita for Maura's section; "Wear. Me. Out." by After 10 for Jane's section
> 
> i know none of you ever listen to the songs i mention but please listen to these ones for me..... they're literally the most perfect jane/maura sex songs i have ever laid ears on
> 
> also i know i took forever on this chapter and i'm sorry but it's sexy and 3x as long as the other chapters so does that make up for it???

_“Do you want to go to bed?” Maura’s voice drops lower. She flicks her eyes down to Jane’s lips._

_It’s a line they haven’t crossed yet. Jane’s been pushing it off, half because she’s terrified of her own naivety, half because it’s the point of no return for them. It’s impossible to go back to being just friends after that. She waits for the anxiety to flood her system as it does every time the subject comes up, but it doesn’t come. Instead, all she feels is heat pooling between her legs. She slips her hand around the back of Maura’s neck and pulls her in for a soft kiss. When they break, Maura’s looking up at her with wide, darkened eyes. Jane’s mind goes blank, except for three magic words._

_“Let’s do it.”_

 

 

Maura kisses Jane again, harder this time, pulling Jane’s body against hers. The contact sends her head spinning. This is different from all the other times they’ve kissed, from the times they’ve made out until Jane pulled away, making excuses. This is different because this time, Jane is all in. This time, after months of waiting and wanting, Maura is finally going to touch Jane. The thought sends a fresh wave of arousal coursing through her. She pulls Jane even closer, bringing her right hand up to cup the back of her head and sliding her left hand down to grip her waist.

“Maur,” Jane murmurs against her lips. Her hips are rolling forward to meet Maura’s, her fingers tangled tightly in Maura’s hair. Her desire is palpable.

Overtaken by her own craving, Maura stands up, taking Jane with her, and pushes her against the wall. She places a hand flat on the wall above Jane’s head, effectively pinning her in place, and dives back in for a hungry kiss. She can feel Jane’s heartbeat against her own chest as she breaks the kiss to move her lips across Jane’s jaw, down her throat, placing little nibbles the whole way. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” she whispers against hot, soft skin. She smiles a little at the vibration beneath her lips as Jane moans in response.

“Maur.” Jane’s breathing heavily under Maura’s grip. “Stop for a second.”

Immediately, Maura drops her grip on Jane like she’s been burned. She looks up at her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I just wanted to…” Jane trails off. She brings a fingernail to her mouth, gnawing on it until Maura rests her hand on Jane’s lips. They’ve talked about the nail biting. “I’ve never done this before.”

“I know.”

“So… I might not be… great at it.” Jane’s entire face is burning red.

Maura smiles. “Jane, it’s okay. I know you’re a quick learner.” She moves closer again and snakes a hand around Jane’s hip, dancing her fingers around the waistband of her pants. She leans in to whisper in Jane’s ear. “Besides, I’m much more concerned with touching you.” Pulling away, she grabs Jane’s hand, pulling her toward the door.

“Wait, where are we going?” Jane sounds dazed.

“I didn’t wait all this time just to fuck you in the guest room,” Maura says matter-of-factly. She smirks and tugs Jane’s hand again. “We’re doing this right.”

Jane’s eyes go wide at Maura’s use of the word _fuck_. Silently, she follows Maura’s lead. Maura smiles to herself. After years of trying, she’s finally found a way to make Jane shut up. She makes a mental note to herself to remember this the next time Jane is making too many jokes over her autopsy table. She opens the door to the master bedroom and leads Jane to the bed. Then she stops. She looks at Jane, sitting on the bed with a nervous smile, hair disheveled and shirt half-tucked, waiting for Maura to take the lead. Maura slowly walks to the bed and drops herself into Jane’s lap, straddling her with deceptively strong thighs.

Jane reaches up to pull Maura into a kiss, but Maura grabs her wrist and holds it with a vice-like grip. She smiles. Jane bites her lip. “Who’s calling the shots here?”

Jane’s eyes somehow get even wider and darker as she looks up at Maura. “You?” she manages to say, all breathy and soft.

“That’s right.” Maura keeps a strong grip on Jane’s wrist as she leans down to nibble at Jane’s ear. She runs her tongue down her long neck, paying special attention to the dips and curves of her collarbone. Looking up to meet Jane’s eye, she’s pleased to see Jane’s head thrown back, lip trapped tightly between her teeth. Maura smiles as she continues her descent.

She frowns when she runs into the top of Jane’s shirt. “I want this off,” she murmurs, looking back up at Jane. She drops her hand and pulls back up. “If you’re ready for that,” she adds softly.

Jane doesn’t say anything for a moment. She stares at a spot on the floor while she thinks, before finally facing Maura again and nodding almost imperceptibly. “Yeah. It’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“I trust you.”

Maura’s heart rate speeds up. For Jane to trust her with this, the part of her body she’s never let anyone see, it means… everything. Slowly, giving Jane plenty of time to change her mind, she pulls the bottom hem of the t-shirt up, past Jane’s abdomen (though she doesn’t look yet), past her breasts, all the way over her head, holding her eye contact the entire time. She smiles softly once the shirt is off. “Are you okay?”

Jane nods. “I’m okay.” She smiles – _beams_ – back at Maura. “Go back to being all dominant like before. It was hot.”

Maura grins. “I honestly didn’t know if you would appreciate playing a more submissive role. It doesn’t suit you outside the bedroom.”

“If you tell anyone at work I let you top me I’ll…” Jane trails off. “I don’t know what I’ll do. But it won’t be good.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Maura pushes Jane further back on the bed and resumes her place back at the dip of her collarbone. She smiles when she catches sight of Jane’s bra. “I didn’t know you owned Calvin Klein.” She slips a finger beneath the band and uses it to pull Jane closer.

Jane shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant, but her ragged breathing is giving her away. “I bought it when you asked me to stay over,” she admits. “I didn’t think I was really going to sleep in the guest room.”

Maura smirks and uses her other hand to trace patterns on Jane’s hips. “Do the bottoms match?”

“Guess you’ll have to find out.”

It’s enough to send a frenzy through Maura. Her hands fly to the button of Jane’s pants, deftly unhooking them and tugging them halfway down her legs. Sure enough, the Calvin Klein waistband is clear at the top of Jane’s underwear, a pair of soft cotton briefs, heather grey just like her bra. Maura sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. She removes Jane’s pants the rest of the way, stopping for a moment to drink in the sight before her.

Jane’s body is already glistening with sweat. She’s sprawled out on the bed, watching Maura like a hawk, wearing designer underwear she bought just for her, and a cheeky smile to match. Maura’s never seen her look so beautiful. Her gaze travels up long, tanned legs, past her hips, making note of the dampness already visible in her underwear, and stops short at the scar.

It’s as Jane said; not pretty indeed. Even months later, the flesh is raised and bumpy. It looks tender; it’s still pink. Tentatively, Maura leans down and presses a gentle kiss to the area, snapping her head up when Jane winces. “Are you okay?” she murmurs.

Jane nods. “Yeah, it doesn’t hurt. I’m just… still weird about it I guess.”

Maura smiles softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Continuing her path downward, Maura runs her mouth over the waistband of Jane’s panties, reveling in the moan it elicits from her. She ghosts her lips and tongue over the heat of Jane’s pussy, making just barely enough contact to draw another whimper out of Jane. She smiles against the fabric, pulling herself back up to sit straddled across Jane’s hips and kiss her. Hard. She slides a hand up Jane’s throat, gripping it at the sides, letting the sensation of Jane’s rapid pulse fill her palm, fill her entire body.

Jane gasps into Maura’s mouth as Maura squeezes. Maura takes the opportunity to bite down on Jane’s bottom lip, sending narrow hips bucking up against Maura’s, desperate for contact. Maura grins into the kiss. “Be patient,” she murmurs. She drags her hand further up, letting her thumb take the place of her mouth, stroking Jane’s bottom lip, claiming Jane for herself.

“Maura,” Jane whines, voice squeaking in that way Maura loves.

“Patient, love.”

Jane groans, half in frustration, half in anticipation, and throws her head back dramatically.

Maura dives hungrily at the exposed skin of Jane’s neck, biting, sucking, feeling blood vessels pop beneath her tongue, lapping at the spots to soothe them as she draws away.

“Really, Maura, with the hickeys? Are you sixteen?”

Maura likes the way her name sounds coming out of Jane’s mouth, even more so when she’s this turned on. “Do you not like them?” She looks up. “I’m sorry, I should have asked.”

Jane’s face turns somehow even more flushed. “I mean… I don’t _not_ like them.” She shrugs. “I’ll just have to leave my hair down for the week I guess.”

Maura grins. She moves down Jane’s body again, not missing a beat in lifting her bra over her head when she reaches it. She licks her lips. She’s seen Jane naked before, of course, but never like this. She’s never looked long enough to appreciate her breasts. Small, but firm, perfectly complementary to the toned abs just below them. She pulls a nipple into her mouth and lightly bites down on it. She smiles around it as Jane’s hand curls into her hair.

“Wait,” Jane says breathlessly. “You’re still wearing all your clothes. It’s not fair.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Maura pulls off of Jane’s body and sits back on her heels.

Hesitantly, Jane sits up, reaching a hand out to touch the sleeve of Maura’s dress. She doesn’t move for a moment; just grips the fabric with a feather light touch.

“Jane,” Maura whispers. “Don’t be self-conscious. You’re perfect.” She smiles, watching as Jane takes a deep breath and visibly relaxes.

Jane slides her hand around Maura’s back and, at a snail’s pace, pulls the zipper on her dress down, down, down, until her hand is resting at the small of her back. The sleeves fall down of their own accord. “Holy shit,” Jane breathes.

Maura pushes herself off the bed and removes the dress fully to reveal the matching black lace lingerie set she bought specifically for this night. She smiles at Jane’s dropped jaw. “See something you like?”

“You… totally planned this,” Jane says finally.

“I figured this was a possibility.” Maura moves back to the bed, pushing Jane back into a supine position, optimal for what she’s got planned next. “Clearly, so did you. I’ve never known you to own anything designer, never mind underwear.”

“I…” Jane starts to argue, but she’s cut off by a breathy moan as Maura skims her hands down her abs beneath the waistband of her panties, barely brushing her labia with the back of her hands. “Never mind.”

Maura grins. Slowly, she tugs Jane’s underwear down her legs, flinging them over her shoulder once they’re free from her ankles. She takes in the sight before her. Jane’s dripping wet; it coats not just her labia but the insides of her thighs as well. It’s like her pussy is calling Maura’s name, drawing her closer with every breath, until she’s right up against it, nose pressed into the skin just above. She inhales the scent.

Jane’s practically shaking as Maura’s hot breath washes over her. “Maura,” she whispers. “Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please touch me.”

“Thank you for asking nicely.” And that’s the last thing Maura says for a long time. She busies her tongue with other tasks; running it up and down the length of Jane’s pussy, dipping beneath and between folds of skin, noting the taste and texture and memorizing every bit that she can. This is _Jane_. She’s done this for more women than she cares to admit, but they’re all gone from her mind, all replaced with the woman beneath her tongue right now, quivering and gasping and moaning her name over and over again.

Finally, she circles her tongue around Jane’s clit, drawing it into her mouth and flicking it back and forth. Jane’s hips buck into her mouth, but she holds them down with her hands, not missing a beat. She doesn’t stop when Jane comes. She doesn’t stop when she comes again.

She doesn’t stop until Jane’s fingers are in her hair, pulling her head up, back up to her face and pulling her in for a deep kiss.

“Maura,” Jane manages between gasping breaths. “That was… no one’s ever been able to do that before.”

“Do what?”

“Make me…” Jane trails off. She smiles. “You know.”

Maura’s eyes go wide. “You haven’t reached orgasm before?”

“Only by myself.”

“Well, you’ll be happy to know there’s plenty more where that came from.” Maura runs her hand down Jane’s body, sliding two fingers inside without preamble. She tangles the fingers on her opposite hand in Jane’s hair and pulls. She grins. Jane is completely at her mercy, and that might be just about the hottest thing she’s ever seen.

Crooking her fingers inside and circling her thumb around Jane’s clit, Maura pulls even harder on curly hair as Jane comes again, hips rocking against her hand.

“Maur, I – I think I’m all out,” she says after coming down from her high. “It’s sensitive.”

Maura smiles and kisses her softly, pulling her fingers up to Jane’s lips.

Obediently, Jane sucks them into her mouth, cleaning off all the stickiness. When she’s finished, she looks up at Maura. “So… your turn?”

“Only if you feel comfortable.” Maura pushes herself off of Jane and sits back on the bed. “Just making you feel good is enough for me.”

“I want to.” Jane sits up, kneeling in front of Maura, but she doesn’t touch her. “I just… don’t really know what I’m doing.”

Maura pulls her closer. “Whatever you do is perfect. I promise.”

“Okay.”

* * *

Jane takes a deep breath, raking her gaze up and down Maura’s body. Seeing it like this… it’s nothing like she imagined. She never really noticed how incredible her best friend’s body really is. She hesitantly reaches around Maura’s back and unclasps her bra, impressed with herself for getting it on the first try. She sucks in a sharp breath when she catches sight of Maura’s breasts.

For the first boobs she’s ever seen in a sexual context, Maura’s are even better than she expected. They’re perfect. She takes one in her hand and rolls the nipple under her thumb, kissing Maura again, deep and slow. She trails her other hand down to palm Maura’s pussy through her panties. She’s not sure what she expected; but it wasn’t the ocean of wetness that meets her hand.

Maura moans into the kiss, and Jane takes it as a cue to keep going. She gently pushes Maura back to lie down. “Do you want me to… go down on you?” Jane’s face burns. She’s never done this before; she has absolutely no idea how. Not to mention the weirdness of… talking about it.

“Please,” Maura says breathily.

Jane slides Maura’s underwear off and throws it somewhere. She pauses. What the hell is it gonna taste like? What if it’s gross and she can’t stand it? What if she can’t get her off and Maura dumps her for someone who can?

“Jane?” Maura says softly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Jane tugs a hand through her hair. “Just got caught up looking at you.” She ducks her head between Maura’s legs before her blush can be noticed, burying her nose in the wet folds of Maura’s pussy. She tentatively puts out her tongue and slides it up and down, drawing a shiver and a gasp from Maura. To her relief, the taste isn’t horrible. It’s actually… good. Not surprising, considering Maura’s excellent hygiene.

After a minute or two of poking around at one spot or another, Jane finally finds Maura’s clit, and she starts running her tongue over it. Maura’s fists tug at the sheets as Jane builds her up. Jane presses on, starting to gain more confidence. She pulls Maura’s hips up and further into her mouth and increases her speed. Suddenly, Maura’s hips are spasming against her face, but Jane holds fast and keeps going, losing herself in the action until she feels Maura pulling her head away.

“I’m sorry, did I do it wrong?” she says, suddenly horrified. The whole time she thought she was doing well.

“No, no, it was perfect.” Maura’s breathing hard as she pulls Jane into a kiss. “You’re perfect.” She rests a hand on the small of Jane’s back. “I’m just very sensitive. I usually can’t handle more than one orgasm at a time.”

“Oh.” Jane smiles. “But it was a good one?”

Maura kisses her again. “A _great_ one.”

Jane lies down beside Maura and rests her head on Maura’s chest. “I love you,” she murmurs.

“I love you, too.”

At some point, Maura falls asleep, leaving Jane awake, running over and over in her head exactly what just happened. She feels impossibly tired, but somehow energized at the same time. She laughs to herself. Maura always had a talent for making the impossible a reality.

And isn’t that just what they’ve done here, together? The two of them being together like this should never have been feasible. And yet, it’s the best thing they’ve ever done. There’s no doubt in Jane’s mind that Maura is her future. She’s never felt so secure, so unafraid of what’s coming next. She knows exactly what’s coming; a peaceful night of sleep, snuggled together despite the sweat covering them both, then a delicious breakfast made fresh in Maura’s kitchen, and a full day of work spent bickering and ignoring the eyerolls of everyone around them.

It’s entirely domestic, but she’s not running away. She’s running headfirst toward it with full force. She smiles and burrows her face into Maura’s breast as she lets sleep wash over her. Her last waking thought for the night is that she doesn’t know how she could ever possibly be happier.


	19. Lieblingsmensch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Lieblingsmensch" by Namika, yes it's a german song but [here](https://lyricstranslate.com/en/lieblingsmensch-favorite-human.html#songtranslation) is a good translation of the lyrics, trust me it's worth it bc this is the ultimate jane/maura song

Jane is already up when Maura opens her eyes. She’s sitting on the edge of the bed, half-dressed and typing intently on her phone.

Maura takes a moment to take in the sight. The muscles in Jane’s arms tensing and relaxing with every movement, the mess of hair thrown over one shoulder, the soft grey bra hiding just enough to make the view even more tantalizing. She sits up and scoots down the bed to press a soft kiss to Jane’s shoulder. “You’re up early,” she murmurs against tan skin.

Jane turns her head and kisses Maura softly. “Frost and I are gonna go talk to our suspect today. I didn’t wanna wake you up.”

“You didn’t.” Maura yawns and stretches. “Are you working on the Duke case?”

“Yeah. We got some new evidence that points back to that Adam guy. Remember, I told you about him?”

Maura tilts her head. “Is he the one that referred to you and Detective Frost as ‘the affirmative action team’?”

“Yeah.” Jane grins. “I can’t wait to rough him up.”

“Oh, but he’s not the killer.”

“What?”

Maura shifts on the bed to face Jane more directly. “No, if I remember right, he’s shorter than you, correct?”

“Shorter than you, probably.”

“Exactly. Based on the angles of the wounds, the killer would have to be about 6’1 or 6’2. It couldn’t be Adam.”

Jane swears under her breath. She pauses for a moment, then looks up to meet Maura’s eye. “You’re gonna tell me that later today at work, and I’m gonna pretend like it’s completely new information.”

“Um... why?”

“Because I wanna mess with his head a little bit before we rule him out.” Jane grins. “It’s not lying.”

“It’s a grey area.”

“No. You’re just... repeating true information. Because I forgot.”

“But you didn’t forget.”

“I will by the time I walk out the front door.”

Maura narrows her eyes, but Jane doesn’t budge. She’s a little surprised; Jane always breaks when Maura gives her that look. Finally, she sighs. “Fine. I will _remind_ you that Adam couldn’t possibly be the killer once you’re done abusing your power.”

“You’re the best!” Jane presses a swift kiss to her cheek and stands up, pulling her t-shirt over her head. “I gotta head out. I’ll see you later.”

“Of course.” Maura stands up, too, and pulls Jane into a tight hug. “Be safe,” she whispers against Jane’s shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Maura goes to the window and watches Jane get into her car and pull out of the driveway. She turns back to her bedroom. Her dress is still on the floor, and she chides herself for not being more careful with her things. Sure enough, it’s wrinkled all over, and she hangs it up with the rest of her dry cleaning with a heavy sigh.

She goes down to the kitchen to start some coffee, smiling in greeting when she sees Angela already sitting at the counter. “Good morning.”

“You look tired.”

Maura suppresses a smile as images from last night flash through her mind. “I didn’t get much sleep.” She starts her espresso machine, pouring in a little more than she normally would to compensate for her lack of rest.

Angela leans forward. “How was dinner with your mother?”

Maura stops her motions. After her and Jane’s big step forward last night, she’d almost forgotten the disaster of a meal that had preceded it. “It... could have been better.” She sighs. “I told her something that I don’t think she was ready to hear.”

“What’s that?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Maura turns away, busying herself with her coffee. She’s treading dangerous waters, discussing this with Angela. She knows she can’t tell her, not without talking to Jane first, but she can’t lie.

Angela clears her throat. “I didn’t know Jane spent the night. She didn’t even stop to say hello to her own mother.”

Maura smiles. “She was just here for moral support. And we had a little too much wine for her to drive home, so I offered her the guest room.” It’s technically true. Maura did _offer_ Jane the guest room; she just didn’t end up using it.

“Really? It doesn’t look like anyone slept in there.”

“Hm.” Maura feels her skin burning as she continues. “Maybe she fell asleep on the couch. She seemed pretty tired.”

“Maybe.” Angela accepts the coffee Maura hands her and sips, pulling the mug away to reveal a devious-looking smile. “So... has Janie mentioned anything to you about a new guy?”

Maura tightens her grip on her mug. “No, she hasn’t.”

Angela nods. “I don’t know why she’s being so secretive. I mean, I know she never tells me anything, but I thought for sure you would know the details.”

“What makes you think she’s seeing someone?”

“She walks around the station with this big, dummy smile.” Angela grins. “It’s her ‘new boyfriend’ smile. She thinks nobody notices, but it’s so obvious.” She stirs her coffee with a sigh. “Whoever he is, I hope he’s not like the other idiots she’s dated. The poor girl can’t afford another heartbreak.”

Maura simply nods along, stomach fluttering at the knowledge that _she’s_ the reason for that ‘big, dummy smile’. “Maybe she wants to keep it quiet to make sure they don’t move too quickly,” she says after a moment. “Many studies have shown that couples who date for a longer time prior to cohabiting tend to show greater long-term stability than faster-moving couples.”

Angela’s eyes go wide. “You think they’re gonna move in together?”

“No,” Maura says quickly. _Not that I would be opposed to it._ “I just meant it as a general guideline; moving too quickly is often an indication of instability in a relationship. I’m sure Jane just wants to maintain as much control as possible before making her relationship public.” She studies Angela’s face, hoping her words are getting through to her. She last thing she needs is the only solid mother figure she’s ever had hating her for hiding her relationship all this time. “She’ll tell you – _us_ – when she’s ready.”

“I guess you’re right.” Angela sighs heavily. She checks her watch as she finishes her coffee. “I should head out. Mr. Stanley will have my head if I’m late again.” She hugs Maura tightly and walks to the door, leaving Maura finally alone.

And thinking.

Which can be dangerous for her. Is she moving too quickly with Jane? She’d never considered it; they’d waited nearly two months before having sex. But the other things... the sleeping over, having keys to each other’s homes, meeting each other’s parents, they’d done that long before they ever became a couple. There’s not really a timeline that makes sense for them, Maura thinks. They’ve known each other so intimately for so long that the big steps that normally come in a relationship are long past.

She shakes her head. This isn’t a conversation she can have with herself right now. She’ll only spiral, and Jane isn’t here to ground her the way she does so well. Maura pushes her thoughts into a tiny corner in the back of her mind, ready for her to come back to later. Instead, she focuses her energy on her morning routine, and practicing her wording for the grand non-lie she promised Jane.

She smiles as she washes her coffee mug. There’s not many people she would come this close to lying for; and here she’s doing it twice in one day. It’s the effect Jane has on her. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.


	20. Kiss On My List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Kiss On My List" by Hall and Oates
> 
> this chapter is mostly case stuff (sorry but it had to be done) so the song really only applies to the bit at the end

Frost is already waiting for Jane at her desk when she arrives. “Morning,” he greets her.

“Hey. Ready to get our guy?”

“About that.” Frost sighs. “I couldn’t get a warrant. Judge said we didn’t have enough.”

“Damn it.” Jane shakes her head. “I was really looking forward to messing with that guy a little more.”

Frost smiles. “We got enough to question him again, though. I got up extra early to bring him in. He’s in room two.”

“I knew I picked you as my partner for a reason.” She pats Frost on the back, and the two of them head to the interview room.

Sure enough, Adam Serrano is sitting in the room with a dark glare on his face, arms crossed tightly across his chest. He looks up when they walk in. “You two again? I told you I didn’t do shit.”

“We heard you.” Jane smiles wickedly. “A car was spotted at James Duke’s funeral yesterday that a witness identified as belonging to the man he was seeing. Black sedan, BCU hockey sticker in the back window.”

Adam laughs out loud. “How many times do I have to tell you? It ain’t me. I’m _normal_.”

Rage begins to simmer deep in Jane’s stomach. “Then point us in the right direction. Because right now, all roads lead to you.”

“What makes you think I know anything?”

“Well, obviously this person is involved with BCU hockey,” Frost cuts in before Jane can say something she’ll regret. He really does know her. He shoots her a sidelong glance, making sure she’s okay, before continuing with Adam. “How long have you been coaching?”

“Coming up on six years.”

Frost writes that down on his notepad. “Any players come to mind as suspicious? Maybe anyone who’d have something against you?”

Adam scoffs. “Yeah. Colin Grimsley. Write this down – G-R-I-M-S-L-E-Y.” He leans back in his chair. “He was on the team my first year as coach. Kid was weird. Went off the rocker when I cut him from the team.”

“Why’d you cut him?”

“Found a fake ID in his locker. We got a zero tolerance policy for underage drinking.” Adam smirks like he’s got an inside joke with himself, but he doesn’t elaborate.

Frost shakes his head, closing his notepad. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Serrano.” He puts out a hand to shake.

Adam stands up, ignoring Frost’s hand. “Have fun with Grimsley. Tell him Coach says hi.” He leaves without another word.

Jane sighs heavily as she and Frost head back to their desks. “At least we got a lead out of him.”

“I just really wanted an excuse to put that bastard in handcuffs.”

“Karma will catch up to him.” Jane laughs out loud. “’I’m _normal_ ’,” she says in an exaggerated impression of Adam. “What’s he got against gay people anyway? All I’m saying is don’t knock it till you try it.”

Frost laughs. “I take it you’re ‘trying it’ then?”

Jane’s stomach flutters at the memory of the night before. She can’t stop the stupid grin from spreading across her face, and her cheeks are burning red. She puts a hand up in an attempt to cover the lower half of her face. “I might be.”

“About time you two got together.” Frost whistles, earning him a punch to the shoulder.

“I didn’t even tell you who it was.”

Frost laughs again, shaking his head. “You don’t have to.”

“Frost, listen.” Jane glances around and ducks her head, leaning closer to him. “We’re not really... telling people yet. My mother doesn’t know.”

“Oh, damn. I’m honored.”

“Just keep it to yourself, okay? I don’t really care about anyone else, but if my mother hears it from anyone but me I’m dead. Got it?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Good.” Jane leans back in her chair and turns her computer on. “Now, let’s try and track down this Colin kid.”

“Already on it.” Frost pulls up Colin’s record and flashes his photo on the big screen. “Here’s his driver’s license and citation for the fake ID. Looks like it was about five years ago; Adam’s story checks out.”

Jane nods and reads through the notes on the citation. “He claimed it was planted in his locker.”

“They all say that.”

“Yeah, I know. But keep reading, this feels true.”

Frost narrows his eyes as he reads. “He blamed his coach. Said Adam found out he was gay, so he put the ID in his stuff so he had a reason to cut him.” He sighs and leans back in his chair. “Guy really is a dick.”

“Well, that would certainly make me hate him,” Jane says thoughtfully. “Think he could be our guy?”

“He fits the profile. Right age, right car, definitely has a reason to want Adam to look bad.”

“And he’s the right height,” Jane adds.

Frost turns to her with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t know we had a height to match.”

“Maura mentioned it this morning. Something about the stab wound angles, I don’t really know, but she said he’s gotta be about 6’1, 6’2.”

“You guys talk about murder during pillow talk?” Frost shakes his head. “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“Fuck off.” Jane stands up and pushes her chair in. “Can you see if that address is current? And track him down if it isn’t?” She pulls her phone out of her pocket. “I’ll be right back.” Before Frost can respond, Jane ducks out the door and into an empty room, dialing Maura’s number.

 _“Jane,”_ Maura says warmly.

Jane didn’t realize just how much she missed Maura’s voice until this moment. “Hey.” She doesn’t even try to hide her smile this time. “Are you still at home?”

_“Yes, but I’m about to head out. I’ve been practicing the lie all morning.”_

“That’s great.” Jane’s heart flutters. Has Maura always been so damn cute, or is she just noticing it now that they’re dating? Either way, she might never get used to it. “I actually don’t need you to do that anymore.”

 _“Oh, thank god. I was terrified; you_ know _how much I hate lying”_ Maura pauses for a moment. _“But you know I would for you. Always.”_

Jane grins, and a rush of warmth fills her body. “I know.” She sighs. “I gotta get back to work; I’ll see you when you get here.”

_“Of course.”_

“Hey. I love you.”

The smile is audible in Maura’s voice when she says _“I love you, too.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not long to go now!!! just a couple murder-y loose ends to tie up, then our girls will be on their way to happily ever after where they BELONG


	21. Fearless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "Fearless" by Taylor Swift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so obsessed with reading all the comments on this fic, i know this fandom is a lot smaller than it used to be but damn i am really feeling the love here you guys :'))

Maura’s stomach flips as Jane pushes open the door to the morgue. She has to grip the autopsy table to stop herself from running over to kiss her. She’d been able to restrain herself from physical affection at work until now, but things have changed now. Now that she knows what it’s like to touch Jane _everywhere_ , she finds herself nearly unable to control her urges. “Hi,” she says almost breathlessly.

Jane grins. She seems frazzled, Maura notices. “Hey.” She shoves her hands in her pockets. “So, I think Frost and I got our guy. Just trying to track him down now.”

“And you didn’t even need me to lie for you.” Maura doesn’t move closer. She doesn’t trust herself to keep it professional with Jane standing there like that, shirt half-tucked and hair just messy enough to be suggestive. She stays put, iron grip on the edge of the table, holding herself back.

“And I wanted to tell you…. Frost knows about us.” Jane gnaws on her lip. “I didn’t tell him, I swear. He’s just a really good detective.”

Maura smiles softly. “I don’t mind him knowing.” She sighs heavily. “Your mother, though-”

“Wait, how does my mother know?”

“She doesn’t,” Maura says quickly, sensing Jane’s rising panic. “But she’s got her suspicions. She knows you’re seeing someone.” She can’t stop herself from smiling as she remembers her earlier conversation with Angela.

Jane runs a hand through her hair. “I mean, maybe keeping it a secret is dumb. Obviously, people are figuring it out.”

“That’s true.” Maura tilts her head. “But you’ve said you aren’t ready. And that’s okay, Jane.”

“Is it?” Jane shakes her head. She shifts her weight from side to side, glancing all around the room, everywhere but at Maura. “It’s not fair to you. I mean, I’m asking you to _lie_ for me.”

Maura smiles softly. “I meant what I said this morning. I would, for you. We can keep it under wraps for as long as you need.”

Jane is quiet for a minute. She doesn’t move from her spot by the door, and Maura doesn’t move from hers. It seems the feeling is mutual. “I love you,” Jane says finally. “Like, so fucking much.”

“I love you, too.”

“I really wish I could kiss you right now.”

“You probably shouldn’t.” A shiver runs up Maura’s back. “I don’t think I’d be able to rein myself in if you did.”

Jane laughs, low and husky, sending vibrations through Maura’s body. “That makes two of us.” She looks Maura up and down with hungry eyes. “But I can try.” She opens her arms, but Maura doesn’t move.

“You’re playing a dangerous game.”

“Fine, I’ll make it easier. We’ll talk about something super un-sexy. Like… who does my mother think I’m dating?”

Maura laughs out loud. “She doesn’t know. But she says you walk around with a _big, dummy smile_.” Now, she does take a step forward, and another, until she’s standing just inches from Jane, fingers resting delicately on Jane’s hip.

Jane’s breathing gets heavier at Maura’s touch. She cracks a smile. “My mother is really good at sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong.” She rests her forearm on Maura’s shoulder. It’s a blatantly possessive move, something that would normally make Maura turn up her nose and leave, but she finds herself leaning into the touch. Everything she’s ever known about relationships is different with Jane. “She could’ve been a damn good detective if she hadn’t wasted all her time with my dick of a dad.”

“So, you admit to the big, dummy smile?”

“Only if you admit to causing it.” Jane grins and snakes her other hand around the small of Maura’s back. She looks like she’s about to go in for a kiss, but she stops herself. “We’re at work,” she mutters.

Maura nods. “This definitely isn’t appropriate.”

But they don’t move.

* * *

Time seems to slow down as the phone rings. And rings. And rings. Maura’s palms are sticky with sweat. She pulls her blanket closer around her as she listens to her mother’s voicemail message for the fifth time, letting out an expletive she rarely uses and hanging up the phone with a particularly angry tap of her thumb. She’s not sure if her mother is just busy with her work or actively ignoring her after their conversation the night before. It stings either way.

But Maura Isles is not a quitter.

She dials the number again, holding her breath as it rings. And, finally, the phone clicks as Constance picks up on the other end.

_“Darling, are you all right?”_

“Yes, Mother, I’m fine,” Maura sighs.

_“You’re calling incessantly; like someone’s died.”_

“Don’t be ridiculous. I wouldn’t tell you about a death over the phone.” Maura finds a loose thread on the blanket. She focuses in on it, picking it and pulling it, knowing full well she’s causing damage to her favorite blanket but not quite having the space in her brain to care. “I want - no, I _need_ to talk to you about last night.”

Constance sighs heavily. _“I’m up to my ears in paperwork. We can discuss this later.”_

“No.” Maura surprises herself with how firmly she says it. “We’ll discuss it now.”

There’s a long pause, and Maura can hear papers rustling in the background. _“All right then_ ,” Constance says finally.

Maura tugs hard at the thread. It pulls and opens a hole in the blanket. She winces. And she presses on. “Jane heard our conversation. And she was really hurt by what you said about her.”

_“That wasn’t my intention.”_

“It never is. But the things you say _hurt people_ , Mother. I’ve let it go for a long time, but you went too far last night.” Maura gnaws on the inside of her cheek while she thinks of what to say next. “I’m happy with Jane. I see a _future_ with her - and that’s something I’ve never had before. She’s important to me, and she deserves your respect.”

There’s silence on the other end of the phone.

After nearly a full minute, Maura tentatively speaks again. “Mother?”

 _“You’re right,”_ is all Constance says.

“I am?” Maura chides herself for showing her doubt. “I am,” she amends. “So, the next time you’re in Boston, we’ll have dinner again. And you will treat Jane exactly how you would treat anyone else I’m seeing.”

_“That sounds lovely.”_

“Great.” Maura clears her throat. “I’ll let you get back to work, then.”

 _“Maura,”_ Constance says before she ends the conversation. _“You’ve grown up to be very strong. Don’t lose that.”_ Before Maura can say anything, however, she hangs up with a neat _click_ , leaving a bewildered Maura alone in her living room to ponder the statement.

It’s the closest Constance has ever come to telling Maura she’s proud of her. Maura feels a grin slowly taking over her face. As she opens Jane’s contact to call her and tell her the good news, it strikes her suddenly just how incredibly happy she is in this moment. She puts down the phone. Calling Jane can wait; she needs to make sure she remembers this.

She grabs her journal from its spot on the coffee table and turns to the next blank page, taking a moment to think carefully about what she wants to write. Finally, she knows exactly what she needs to say, and puts pen to paper.

_Friday, April 5th_

_I think everything is going to be okay._


	22. The Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "The Eye" by Brandi Carlile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE

Jane tucks herself further into Maura’s arms with a soft sigh, still half-asleep even as the morning light filters in between the blinds. She’s been sleeping over almost every night this week, and every night has been just as incredible as that first time. God, was that really a week ago already? Every time they make love it still seems so new and incredible. Even still, she thinks the part that comes after is even better. She relishes the feeling of Maura’s hands on her body as she sleeps, the security provided by her arms around her waist.

She’s just about to fall back asleep when her phone rings. With a groan, she grabs it off of the night stand and presses it to her ear. “Rizzoli,” she says, not bothering to be quiet. Maura’s already stirring beside her, woken by the ringing.

_ “Jane,”  _ Frost says.  _ “We got a hit on our BOLO. Colin Grimsley checked into the emergency room this morning.” _

Suddenly wide awake, Jane sits bolt upright in bed. “I’ll be at the station in fifteen.” She doesn’t wait for a reply, hanging up the phone and running around the room to gather her clothes. “We found Colin,” she explains breathlessly as Maura rubs sleep out of her eyes. “I’m sorry, I know we were gonna have breakfast and stuff.”

“Don’t be silly.” Maura combs her fingers through her hair. “We can have breakfast any day. Go.”

“I love you.” Jane pulls Maura in for a quick, intense kiss before bolting out the door, still tugging her jacket on as she goes. She picks Frost up outside the station and, within another twenty minutes, they’re at the hospital waiting for a nurse to brief them on Colin. Jane’s heart is racing the way it always does right before they catch the bad guy; it’s these moments that remind her why she loves her work so much. 

Finally, a nurse comes into the lobby and approaches them. “Detectives, I have Colin’s records for you.”

“Can you walk us through what happened?” Frost says, taking the folder she hands him.

“He was admitted around 3:30 this morning with severe lacerations on both forearms. He fell unconscious shortly after he arrived, but as far as I know he called 911 himself. It looks like a suicide attempt.”

Jane nods. “Is he conscious now?”

“Yes, you can see him.” The nurse turns around to lead them down the hall to Colin’s room.

The sight almost knocks Jane off her feet. Colin’s arms are covered in thick white bandages, but blood has soaked through on both arms. His face is pale enough that he could be mistaken for a ghost, and his eyes have dark purple circles beneath them.

“Colin,” Jane says softly, moving to sit beside the bed. “Hey, my name is Detective Rizzoli. I’d like to ask you some questions if you’re up for it.” She’s not sure where the sudden sympathy she’s feeling came from, but she doesn’t shove it away. She really feels bad for this man, somehow.

“You’re here about James,” Colin says, voice hoarse and thick with emotion.

Jane nods. She doesn’t say anything else, hoping Colin will continue.

Thankfully, he does. “I loved him so much.” He sounds like he’s going to cry, but he keeps talking nonetheless. “What we had was perfect. No one knew but us.”

“What happened, Colin? Why did you kill him?”

“He was gonna tell his wife. He wanted to  _ expose  _ me.” Tears start to spill from Colin’s swollen eyes. “I didn’t mean to kill him. I just wanted to stop him from outing me.” He shakes his head. “I can’t believe I killed him.”

Jane glances down at the bandages on his arms. At this proximity, she can see the outlines of the wounds. They’re bad. “You tried to kill yourself?”

“I don’t want to live a lie anymore.”

“Why not just live your truth then?”

Colin makes eye contact with her for the first time, and it sends chills through Jane’s body. “You don’t know what it’s like.”

Jane slowly reaches out and rests a hand on Colin’s shoulder. “I have a girlfriend,” she whispers so only he can hear. “My partner over there-” she gestures to Frost “-is the only one who knows.” She gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “We’re all scared to come out, Colin. But you ended someone’s  _ life  _ to avoid it.”

“I’d rather be a killer than gay,” Colin says almost inaudibly.

“I guess that’s where we’re different.” Jane stands up. “Colin Grimsley, you’re under arrest for the murder of James Duke.”

Colin doesn’t even react. He just stares straight ahead as Frost recites his Miranda rights. Of course, they can’t actually book him and bring him to jail until he’s cleared from the hospital, but this is good enough to satisfy Jane. As she listens to Frost, something churns in her stomach; some part of the conversation she had with Colin is stuck in her head. She checks her phone. There’s a text message from Maura.

Instead of reading the message, Jane’s thumb presses the “call” button, and Jane’s feet carry her out of the room. She feels almost trance-like as Maura picks up the phone.

“Hey,” she says before Maura can speak. “I wanna tell people about us. I’m ready.”

_ “Really?”  _ Maura sounds wide awake now, and more than a little shocked at Jane’s declaration.  _ “Are you sure?” _

“Absolutely.” Jane’s heart is pounding so hard she can feel it in her throat. But she doesn’t retreat. She presses on. “I’m sick of hiding it. Everyone needs to know how much I love you.”

_ “When are we doing this?” _

Jane takes a deep breath. She knows there’s no turning back from this one. “Tonight. Can you host everyone? Or we could go out, I’m sure we could get a table at the Dirty Robber. Or should we go somewhere nicer? I don’t really-”

_ “Jane.”  _ Somehow, hearing Maura say her name calms Jane down every single time.  _ “Of course I can host.” _

“You’re the best.”

_ “You’re sure you’re ready for this? I don’t want you to push yourself for my sake.” _

“I’m not.” Jane grins. “It’s just time. I wanna live my truth.”

_ “I’m really proud of you, Jane.” _ There’s a smile in Maura’s voice, and so much love it makes Jane weak in the knees.  _ “Come back here when you’re done with Colin. I’ll need your help preparing everything.” _

“Aw, and here I thought you missed me.”

_ “Of course I miss you. I always miss you when you’re not here.” _

It hits Jane like a punch to the gut, and her eyes immediately start to water. She misses Maura, too. Always. It’s why she’s been sleeping over every night, why she hasn’t been home in a week, why even before they were together, she would be throwing out expired food that never got opened because why eat at home when she could eat with Maura? 

She glances behind her and sees Frost leaving Colin’s room. “Hey, I gotta go. I’ll see you at home.” As she hangs up, she realizes too late what she said. It doesn’t feel wrong, though. Maura’s house is home. She smiles softly as she corrects herself.

_ Maura  _ is home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i'm gonna make a playlist of honorable mentions - songs i wanted to include for a lot of these chapters but got beat out by one that fit slightly better
> 
> would y'all want the link to that???


	23. I Belong to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "I Belong to You" by Brandi Carlile

The sound of the front door opening always sends Maura’s heart into a tailspin as her body anticipates the feeling of Jane’s arms sliding around her waist where they rightfully belong. This time, the arrhythmia is accompanied by a tightness in her chest, a slight anxiety about what’s about to transpire. She knows how Jane’s mind works, how she second guesses herself and gets nervous and does things she regrets.

But, as Maura goes to meet Jane in the living room, and feels those strong arms around her, all her worries seem to disappear in the scent of lavender shampoo. “Hi,” she says breathlessly.

“Hey.” The reverberation of Jane’s low voice runs through Maura’s body. “I missed you today.”

“Not as much as I missed you.” Maura pushes her face into Jane’s shoulder. Are we still doing this tonight?”

Jane pulls Maura away from her to look her in the eye, brows pushed into a frown. “What are you talking about? Of course we are.”

“I was just worried you’d get cold feet.”

“No. No way.” Jane kisses Maura’s forehead. Her lips linger, pressing each word she says into Maura’s hair. “I’m done running, baby. I’m all in.”

Maura tucks herself back into Jane’s arms with a contented sigh. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Jane smiles against the top of Maura’s head. “And I’m so excited for everyone else to know it.” She pulls out of the embrace, much to Maura’s disappointment as the cold air finds her skin again. “So, what are we making?”

“I was thinking your mother’s lasagna. She taught me the recipe.”

Jane’s eyebrows fly up. “She always says that recipe was a family secret.” Her mouth spreads into a wide grin. “Guess Ma already knows you’re family.” With another quick kiss, Jane moves to the kitchen and begins pulling pots and pans from the cupboards.

Maura watches Jane move with hungry eyes. She focuses on the way her muscles flex and ripple beneath tanned skin, the determined focus in her eyes as she runs through the recipe in her mind. She’s struck, as she often is, by how incredibly lucky she is to be loved by Jane the way she is. She smiles softly and leans against the back of the couch.

“Hey you,” Jane says with a wide, dimpled smile. “Are you just gonna sit there and watch or are you gonna help me?”

“I don’t know.” Maura folds her arms. “I’ve got a nice view.”

Jane smirks and waves her over. “Get your sweet ass over here. You know I can’t cook for shit.”

“That’s true.” Maura goes to join Jane in the kitchen and pulls ingredients for dinner. Before long, the kitchen is filled with the familiar smells of Angela’s famous lasagna, and the clock is fast approaching 6:00. Any minute, their guests will start arriving, and the moment of no return will arrive.

“Babe?” Jane’s voice jolts Maura from her wandering thoughts. “You good?”

“Of course.”

“You went to another planet there for a second.”

Maura smiles and leans into Jane’s arms. “Just thinking about how perfect everything is. I never expected to be here with you.”

“Me neither.” Jane wraps an arm around her and squeezes tight. “I’m so happy I finally grew a pair and just kissed you.”

“Yes, _after_ having a meltdown when I came out to you.”

“What _ever_.” Jane pulls Maura into a soft kiss. “That’s all in the past. You’re my present, Maur. And my future.”

Maura grins against Jane’s lips. She traces Jane’s sharp jawline with a finger. “I’m so glad you said that. Come on, I want to show you something.” Sliding her hand down Jane’s arm, she laces their fingers together and leads Jane upstairs to the bedroom. She pulls open her closet door with a proud grin. “Do you like it?”

Jane turns to her with a puzzled smile. “What am I looking at, Maur? It’s just your closet.”

“ _Our_ closet.” Maura squeezes Jane’s hand. “I cleared a side for you.” Sensing that Jane still wasn’t understanding, Maura turns to face her and takes both of her hands. “I was hoping you would move in.”

Jane’s eyes go wide. “Wait, for real?”

“I know it’s fast. But think about it – you’re always here anyway. We may as well save you the trip home when you run out of fresh clothes.”

“I – what about my mother?” Jane sighs. “I don’t know if I could handle knowing my mother is in the next room when we’re… you know.”

“She could move into your condo. She’ll be out of our hair.”

Jane grins. She slides her hands up Maura’s jaw and pulls her face in for a gentle kiss. “I love how you think of everything.” She smiles against Maura’s lips. “What would I do without you?”

“Is that a yes?”

“Of course it’s a yes.” Jane kisses her again, and again, and again until Maura’s sure her heart is going to burst out of her chest. Impossible, of course, but that’s the effect Jane has on her – she makes the impossible seem entirely probable.

The doorbell interrupts them. Maura grins. “Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

They go downstairs together and start pouring wine as the guests arrive one by one. Once everyone is seated at the table, Maura sets out the food, and everyone serves themselves. She glances over to where Jane sits beside her and arches an eyebrow. At Jane’s nod, she clears her throat and calls everyone’s attention to her.

“I’m so glad you could all make it,” she begins. “Before we all get too deep into our own conversations, we want to tell you something.”

“I’m moving into Maura’s house,” Jane cuts in, reaching over to take Maura’s hand on the table, where everyone can see it. “As her girlfriend.”

Angela’s jaw drops open. “Are you… are you serious?” she whispers. “You two are together?”

Jane squeezes Maura’s hand. “Yeah. For a couple of months now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Angela stands up and walks around the table, pulling them both into a tight hug from behind. “This whole time I’ve been trying to figure out who’s been making my daughter so happy, and it’s been you this whole time.”

“You’re okay with this?” Maura asks.

“Okay with it?” Angela squeezes them even tighter. “I couldn’t be happier for you girls. You both deserve something good after all the assholes you’ve gone through.”

Maura laughs and leans into Angela’s arms, feeling Jane’s thumb stroking the back of her hand. Angela breaks the hug with one final squeeze and returns to her chair, and the conversation sparks up between the rest of the guests.

Maura turns to look at Jane, only to find Jane already staring right at her. “I love you,” she mouths.

In response, Jane leans in and pulls Maura in for a deep kiss, fingers tangling in her hair, not caring that they have an audience. Maura, for her part, melts into the kiss, pulling Jane closer while still staying in their own separate chairs. Tommy and Frankie are cheering, and Maura can feel Frost’s eyes boring into the back of her head. Normally, she would be mortified to be the center of attention like this.

But now, all she can think about is Jane, and her family, and how she’s never been happier.

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the end of our story, but there will be an epilogue so stay tuned for that (when i get around to writing it)!! it's finals week guys forgive me for being slow on the updates ://


	24. At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: "At Last" by Etta James
> 
> Bonus: Jane's karaoke song is "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel bc honestly there has never been and will never be a more fitting song for these two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> epilogue ended up being longer than most of the chapters, but i just really wanted to squeeze in a bunch of fluff right at the end here. i honestly could have made it 10k words. i just...... love them ok

When all is said and done, things always seem to fall right into place for Jane. No matter what happens – serial killers and mob boss fathers and hard-to-keep secrets – everything ends up exactly where it’s supposed to. With Maura by her side and all their friends and family standing behind them, she’s on top of the world. Nothing can knock her over. Not anymore.

When Maura suggested a party to celebrate Jane moving in, it didn’t take much to bring her around. Yes, she hates parties, especially unnecessary ones, but she loves Maura more. So, of course she said yes. She even agreed to wear a dress, a decision she’s now regretting as she’s struggling to discreetly fix a wedgie for the hundredth time that night.

She glances over her shoulder and stifles a laugh at the sight of Korsak and Frankie attempting to set up the karaoke machine that Maura insisted on having. Her reasoning, of course, being that doing karaoke was on her bucket list and Jane had promised they would work down their bucket lists together. Maura learned well even before they were together that Jane was incapable of saying no to her.

And now here they are with a karaoke machine in their living room (Jane loves calling it _their_ living room), and no one who has a clue of how to set it up. Jane crosses the room and taps on Frankie’s shoulder. “Frost is gonna be here soon,” she says with a wide grin. “I’m sure he’ll be a little bit better equipped.”

Korsak whips his head around. “Hey, just ‘cause I’m an old guy doesn’t mean I can’t figure out this stuff.”

“No, you’re right. You can’t figure it out because you’re an idiot.” Jane claps him on the back. “Stick to what you’re good at, Vince.”

“Fine.” Korsak straightens his jacket. “But once that thing gets set up, I’m taking you all down and you know it.”

Jane laughs. “Fair enough.” She sips her beer and turns around, scanning the room for Maura. Finally, she sees her in the kitchen with Angela, heads bent over Angela’s phone looking at something Jane isn’t privy to. She smiles as she’s hit with a wave of love for Maura. It’s a familiar feeling by now, the sudden knee-weakening realization that she’s absolutely the luckiest person in the world. For a while, she just watches her, deep in conversation with Angela, unaware she’s being watched.

Maura has a way of smiling with her eyes Jane’s always found herself drawn to. Even when her lips aren’t smiling, her eyes are sparkling and jumping, crinkled around the corners, a picture of warmth and joy that just invites you in without her saying a word. She’s doing it now. Just as Jane’s about to go back to her conversation with Korsak, Maura looks up and catches her eye, and the whole room disappears around them. Her smile travels from her eyes down to soft, pink lips, stretching across her face into rosy cheeks and dimples on both corners of her mouth.

The sight takes Jane’s breath away every time. She goes into the kitchen and presses a soft kiss to Maura’s cheek. “I can’t believe you talked me into wearing a dress.”

Maura laughs. “You know, this is your house, now. You can go upstairs and change whenever you want.”

“Oh. Huh.” Somehow, the thought hadn’t clicked in Jane’s mind that when she moved in, so did all of her clothes. They’re still in boxes in the bedroom. “I think I might.”

“Don’t,” Angela cuts in. “You look beautiful in that, honey.”

Jane arches an eyebrow. “Yeah, that settles it. I’ll be right back.” Stealing one more quick kiss before she goes, Jane goes upstairs to the bedroom, her bedroom, _their_ bedroom, and pulls out the box of her clothes she has yet to unpack. It takes her several minutes to rifle through for a decently matching shirt and pants, but, finally, she dresses herself and goes back downstairs feeling much more comfortable.

She stops at the bottom of the stairs when she sees who’s standing there. Constance Isles, who RSPV’d _No_ to the party, is standing in the living room, clutching her purse and talking with Maura, who hasn’t yet noticed Jane on the staircase. Jane clears her throat and walks over to join them. “Constance, hi,” she says. She shakes Constance’s hand. “I didn’t think we’d see you tonight.”

“I hope I’m not intruding,” Constance says with a gentle squeeze to Jane’s hand. “My event this weekend was postponed, and I was able to catch a ride on a friend’s jet and make it here just in time. I didn’t want to miss your party.”

Jane smiles tersely. “Of course you’re not intruding. It’s great to have you here.”

“Hey,” Frost calls from the other side of the room. Jane didn’t even notice he arrived until now. “Got your machine working.”

Maura grins and grabs Jane’s arm. “Let’s go.” She starts to pull Jane into the living room, but Constance stops her with a hand on Jane’s opposite shoulder.

“I’d like to speak to Jane, if you don’t mind.” She smiles softly as Maura hesitates. “Please.”

Jane squeezes Maura’s hand. “Go look through the songs. I’ll be there in a minute.” She waits for Maura to be out of earshot before turning back to Constance. “What’s up?”

Constance sighs. “I owe you an apology for the way I behaved at dinner. The things I said to you and about you, well, they were uncalled for.” She smiles softly and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Jane pegs it immediately as a nervous tick. “I’m protective of my daughter. And, I admit, I can be somewhat prejudiced due to my upbringing. But, I’ve never seen her this happy before. That’s your doing.” She takes one of Jane’s hands in both of hers. “I hope you can forgive me.”

“Thank you.” Jane cover’s Constance’s hand with her free one. “I really appreciate you saying all that. Let’s just move on, pretend it never happened.”

“Agreed.”

Jane squeezes Constance’s hands once before letting them go. She goes over to join Maura at the karaoke machine. “Anything good?” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to Maura’s temple.

“Did she apologize?” Maura asks. At Jane’s nod, she smiles and returns to the song catalog, not pressing for more details. “What song do you want to sing?” she asks.

Jane frowns. “Wait, _I’m_ singing? This was your bucket list thing, you have to do it.”

“I will!” Maura doesn’t even look up as she continues. “But I can’t go first. I have to observe other people performing before I can. It’s vital.”

“So I have to go first?” Jane grabs her beer from where she left it on the table and takes a sip. “That doesn’t seem fair.”

Maura does look up then. She meets Jane’s gaze, softening her eyes and pushing her lip out ever so slightly. She knows exactly how to trap a Rizzoli. “Please?” she says softly.

“Jesus Christ,” Jane says under her breath. “Fine, give me that. Go sit down, I want it to be a surprise.”

Maura grins. “I love you.” She kisses Jane’s cheek and sits down on the couch, motioning for everyone to gather around.

Jane continues flipping through the song choices until she lands on the perfect one. She grins. She’s never thought of it before, but this song is absolutely perfect for her relationship with Maura. She’s kicking herself a little bit for not having seen it before. She clears her throat and picks up the microphone. “Okay, disclaimer before I start, I hate karaoke and I’m only doing this because Maura’s making me.” She grins at Maura, who’s beaming right back at her. “Anyway, I picked this song specifically for you, so I hope you appreciate it. And for the rest of you, I hope you’re drunk enough to listen to me sing without your ears bleeding.”

She presses the button to start the music, keeping a close watch on Maura’s face as the intro begins. She quickly realizes Maura has absolutely no idea what the song is. Even better. “Uptown girl,” she sings as dramatically as possible. “She’s been living in her uptown world; I’ll bet she never had a backstreet guy; I’ll bet her mother never told her why; I’m gonna try for an uptown girl.”

Soon enough, Maura’s dancing in her seat and laughing as Jane sings each lyric in the same overdramatic fashion. As the song ends, Jane holds her gaze and walks forward to take her hand. “My uptown girl,” she sings, voice softening. “Don’t you know I’m in love with an uptown girl.” At this point, the urge to kiss her is too strong, and she drops the microphone and abandons the rest of the song to pull her into a deep kiss. “I love you,” she murmurs as the room hoops and hollers.

“I love you, too.” Maura grins.

“Is it lame if I can’t wait for this party to be over?” Jane keeps her voice low enough for only Maura to hear. “I just wanna go to bed with you.”

Maura kisses her again. “Soon enough.”

Surprisingly, Maura’s right. The night flies by as Jane is caught up in conversation and karaoke with everyone she loves most. They finally close the night at nearly midnight, with a shaky at best rendition of “Natural Woman” from Maura. When the last guest has finally left, Jane closes and locks the door and turns to Maura. “You ready for bed?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Maura pulls Jane into a soft kiss. “I’m so glad I get to go to bed with you every night.”

“Forever, baby.”

Maura cradles the back of Jane’s neck in her hand, sliding her other hand around Jane’s back. “Doesn’t it feel like we were always meant to be together? Like everything was leading us here?”

“Sometimes.” Jane kisses Maura again. “Or maybe we just got damn lucky.” And, truthfully, it doesn’t matter to Jane if Maura is some sort of destiny or not. What matters is that, finally, she’s got someone she’s not scared of losing, someone who happened to be right under her nose the entire time. Finally, she’s found love in the arms of her best friend. Finally, she’s absolutely, fearlessly, irrevocably, happy.

And that’s as good as it gets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we made it to the end!!!!
> 
> so this is the first fic i've written in almost 5 years, and the first long fic i've ever written for jane and maura. i really did not expect it to be as popular as it has ended up, and i am endlessly thankful to each and every person who read and enjoyed this fic. everyone who left kudos, comments, y'all warm my heart and you're the reason i kept going and didn't give up on this plot. because god writing is hard and there were times i really really wanted to.
> 
> if you enjoyed the song choices, please let me know; i put so much thought into each song and it makes me so happy to know they're appreciated by the readers. for those of you that wanted the playlist of songs that *almost* made it into the fic, that can be found [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6qusnKLaTBGj3VIyTzNG8l?si=XIgZOlIfTB2ZVCuVsnNr_A)
> 
> this is the end of this fic, but certainly not the end of my time writing for these girls. i have plans for at least 2 more long fics, and one of those is already in the works. it's very different from this one, but i hope you'll all check it out when it's ready to post!! anyway, i'm gonna shut up before this note ends up longer than the epilogue itself. thanks again to everyone who read and enjoyed this fic, i'll see you at the next one <3


End file.
